Today I wanted to share something from the journal that I keep. My head and heart keep returning to the ideas contained within, so I felt the desire to share... In case I don't make it back in here before Sunday, Merry Christmas to all!!
Journal entry 12-20-11
Do I offend God? God gave salvation to the Gentile because Israel refused it - much like how I feel if my children act ungrateful for things. I want to take these things away and give them to someone appreciative.
Do I do that to You, Lord? Do I reject some of Your good and perfect gifts? Do I miss Your blessing because I think I don't deserve it or because the blessing comes disguised in what I see as something unpleasant? I am thankful I did not refuse the gift of salvation and trusting in Christ for my eternity. But, to have the abundant life in John 10:10, do I need to keep receiving Your gifts, and accepting them gratefully?
Lord, have I been given gifts that never got opened? Have I opened some and laid them aside? Have I wanted to return some and exchange them for what I thought to be the right thing? The thing I wanted? Lord, I am sorry for my ungrateful, controlling heart - please forgive me and help me to choose differently.
Lord, help me to begin to take the steps needed to live with purpose. Help me to gratefully receive each of Your good and perfect gifts, even the ones that don't seem to fit at the time. Stretch me to fit them. Even the gifts that seem ugly at first - help me to see the beauty in them. Even the ones I want to exchange - help me to see how they are perfectly designed for me. And help me to joyfully cheer on the one who receives what I thought I wanted more. Help me to trust in YOUR judgement and YOUR motives, Lord. Help me to have an accurate perception of Your gifts to me, Lord.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Inadequacy (did I spell that right?)
Some days I just feel inadequate. Sometimes I feel like an inadequate wife. Often I feel like an inadequate friend. And I always feel like an inadequate housekeeper...but the one that hits me the hardest is when I feel inadequate as a mother.
Today was one of those days. It usually hits when I'm working with our oldest on just about any subject. Because of his diagnosis, teaching him can be challenging at times. And then he can end up in tears...and then I can end up in tears, or frustrated, or both. I get frustrated because he doesn't get it. I get frustrated because I don't have the right words to explain it to him. I get fearful because I worry that he'll never get it and I'll never have the words to explain it to him. I get fearful because I wonder what his future will look like. And I just want to sit in a corner and cry and let the world go by.
But, thankfully, at least for today, I was able to talk him through. I was able to calmly ask the other two children to go play in another room so I could focus on only one thing. And in the end we had success. And I did not cry (in that moment - I did cry just now as I was replaying it all in my mind).
In my head I KNOW that God has put this course before me. I KNOW He has given me these children and I KNOW that He does not make mistakes about these things. But in my deepest places, I fear messing up. I fear being less than what my children need. I fear not doing the right things for them, not training them enough, not equipping them for things that are important, etc.
And I know I'm not alone, but when I'm in the midst of the fear, I feel alone. I also know, though, that as long as I rely on God and trust in Him and continue to press on (rather than giving in to the desire to just curl up in a ball as opposed to climbing the mountain ahead of me), these things don't make me a bad mother. In fact, in a lot of ways, they probably make me a typical and good, loving mother. But it's hard to see that in the middle of the storm.
Today was one of those days. It usually hits when I'm working with our oldest on just about any subject. Because of his diagnosis, teaching him can be challenging at times. And then he can end up in tears...and then I can end up in tears, or frustrated, or both. I get frustrated because he doesn't get it. I get frustrated because I don't have the right words to explain it to him. I get fearful because I worry that he'll never get it and I'll never have the words to explain it to him. I get fearful because I wonder what his future will look like. And I just want to sit in a corner and cry and let the world go by.
But, thankfully, at least for today, I was able to talk him through. I was able to calmly ask the other two children to go play in another room so I could focus on only one thing. And in the end we had success. And I did not cry (in that moment - I did cry just now as I was replaying it all in my mind).
In my head I KNOW that God has put this course before me. I KNOW He has given me these children and I KNOW that He does not make mistakes about these things. But in my deepest places, I fear messing up. I fear being less than what my children need. I fear not doing the right things for them, not training them enough, not equipping them for things that are important, etc.
And I know I'm not alone, but when I'm in the midst of the fear, I feel alone. I also know, though, that as long as I rely on God and trust in Him and continue to press on (rather than giving in to the desire to just curl up in a ball as opposed to climbing the mountain ahead of me), these things don't make me a bad mother. In fact, in a lot of ways, they probably make me a typical and good, loving mother. But it's hard to see that in the middle of the storm.
Friday, December 2, 2011
A Change in Direction
Yesterday was an interesting day at our co-op. It was the beginning of the end, and yet in some ways it was also the best day ever.
This has been our first year in a co-op. In previous years we had been too involved with therapies and simply getting my feet under me as a homeschool mom to even seriously consider such a possibility. Besides, I didn't want to give up our time to go and help teach even more kids and have to plan for that in addition to planning for our own homeschool. It just sounded too intimidating.
But last winter, God began working in my heart to make some changes. I began to feel that rather than continuing with Ben's 8 hour a week ABA program, we should look at a co-op for the fall. I began to believe that being surrounded by "typical" children and doing a few hours of school in a classroom setting would benefit him more than the one-on-one he was receiving. He was ready for this step.
We visited two co-ops because that is all we could find at the time. The first one we visited scared Ben at times, but he had caring teachers who helped him through the day. After all, this was his first time in a new classroom setting in several years. While he attends Sunday School, every year as he moved up, the same children went with him, so this was the first totally new group setting he had experienced in years.
As soon as we left that co-op, I felt it was the one we were to join, but we still had another visit scheduled with the other co-op. Plus, the one we had just visited was full, and had a waiting list.
After visiting the second co-op, I was even more convinced that God was leading us to the first one, so I sent in my paperwork and joined the waitlist for the upcoming year. About a month later, I inquired about our spot on the waitlist and was told that since someone else with 3 children the same grades as ours had dropped the very day I inquired, the leader would take that as a sign from God that we were in.
Over the summer, I became excited as I saw emails about what subjects the kids would be studying. But then it was changing and by the time we had our first meeting, there had been many changes as many families had decided after committing to the year that God was actually leading them in a different direction. The numbers were down and some classes still needed teachers. I was told this was a first for this strong, well-led co-op.
As this year has gone on, families continued to drop out, one-by-one, and sometimes multiple families in one week dropped. Moms were often being called upon to fill in and it was difficult for this new mom to make connections with the constant changes that were going on.
I, too, began considering leaving the co-op. But it was not a clear cut decision. For one thing, Ben was thriving in the setting. While he still will not ask for help from a strange teacher when he doesn't understand something, the numbers were such that teachers would take note of his needs and offer assistance. And he was volunteering answers to questions that were asked of the group. It was amazing watching him speak up without it being something scripted. And Matthew was getting a chance to learn and play with boys his age and he was loving that. Oddly enough, my social butterfly, Joy, was struggling the most at fitting in and finding her place.
The reasons I was considering leaving was the burden it was becoming whenever a mom stayed home with sick children or went on vacation, and it was discouraging to see so many moms dropping out. And with the exception of the moms I was talking with 2 weeks ago, every single time I began to get to know a mom, she dropped out. But God brought me to the co-op and He had not yet given me clear leading to leave it either.
Well, yesterday, the decision was made for me. We have two more weeks of co-op classes, then after a big field trip and a party, our co-op will be no more. To some extent, I felt relieved to not have to make a decision and to have stuck with my commitment. But I also felt sad because I finally felt like I was connecting with some of the other moms. And I felt confused...why had God brought me to a co-op that He knew would not survive the year. But I think He also answered that very question for me yesterday and the time before in the conversations that were had by the moms around a conference table.
Many of the moms in that co-op have adopted some of the children in their families. And there is even at least one mom who is an adoptee. And Roger and I have been praying about and considering what our role is to be regarding orphans in this world. Are we to adopt? Are we to foster? Or is His plan that we support those who are called to the front lines of this ministry area?
While I have known people who have adopted, never before have I been surrounded by it the way I have felt these last two times we have been at co-op. Never before have I had the opportunity to have such an open and honest conversation about adoption and the blessings that come through it.
While I still don't know exactly what this means for our family, I have met some moms who feel the same burden that we feel, people who will pray for us as we seek God's guidance and wisdom and people I can contact when and if we have questions. So, while this co-op experience was only to be a brief season for us, it will undoubtedly have a bigger impact than I ever could have anticipated when we went for that first visit last spring.
Thank you to God who kept it afloat for these past few months, and to the WOM leadership who was faithful in following His leading to continue up until now.
This has been our first year in a co-op. In previous years we had been too involved with therapies and simply getting my feet under me as a homeschool mom to even seriously consider such a possibility. Besides, I didn't want to give up our time to go and help teach even more kids and have to plan for that in addition to planning for our own homeschool. It just sounded too intimidating.
But last winter, God began working in my heart to make some changes. I began to feel that rather than continuing with Ben's 8 hour a week ABA program, we should look at a co-op for the fall. I began to believe that being surrounded by "typical" children and doing a few hours of school in a classroom setting would benefit him more than the one-on-one he was receiving. He was ready for this step.
We visited two co-ops because that is all we could find at the time. The first one we visited scared Ben at times, but he had caring teachers who helped him through the day. After all, this was his first time in a new classroom setting in several years. While he attends Sunday School, every year as he moved up, the same children went with him, so this was the first totally new group setting he had experienced in years.
As soon as we left that co-op, I felt it was the one we were to join, but we still had another visit scheduled with the other co-op. Plus, the one we had just visited was full, and had a waiting list.
After visiting the second co-op, I was even more convinced that God was leading us to the first one, so I sent in my paperwork and joined the waitlist for the upcoming year. About a month later, I inquired about our spot on the waitlist and was told that since someone else with 3 children the same grades as ours had dropped the very day I inquired, the leader would take that as a sign from God that we were in.
Over the summer, I became excited as I saw emails about what subjects the kids would be studying. But then it was changing and by the time we had our first meeting, there had been many changes as many families had decided after committing to the year that God was actually leading them in a different direction. The numbers were down and some classes still needed teachers. I was told this was a first for this strong, well-led co-op.
As this year has gone on, families continued to drop out, one-by-one, and sometimes multiple families in one week dropped. Moms were often being called upon to fill in and it was difficult for this new mom to make connections with the constant changes that were going on.
I, too, began considering leaving the co-op. But it was not a clear cut decision. For one thing, Ben was thriving in the setting. While he still will not ask for help from a strange teacher when he doesn't understand something, the numbers were such that teachers would take note of his needs and offer assistance. And he was volunteering answers to questions that were asked of the group. It was amazing watching him speak up without it being something scripted. And Matthew was getting a chance to learn and play with boys his age and he was loving that. Oddly enough, my social butterfly, Joy, was struggling the most at fitting in and finding her place.
The reasons I was considering leaving was the burden it was becoming whenever a mom stayed home with sick children or went on vacation, and it was discouraging to see so many moms dropping out. And with the exception of the moms I was talking with 2 weeks ago, every single time I began to get to know a mom, she dropped out. But God brought me to the co-op and He had not yet given me clear leading to leave it either.
Well, yesterday, the decision was made for me. We have two more weeks of co-op classes, then after a big field trip and a party, our co-op will be no more. To some extent, I felt relieved to not have to make a decision and to have stuck with my commitment. But I also felt sad because I finally felt like I was connecting with some of the other moms. And I felt confused...why had God brought me to a co-op that He knew would not survive the year. But I think He also answered that very question for me yesterday and the time before in the conversations that were had by the moms around a conference table.
Many of the moms in that co-op have adopted some of the children in their families. And there is even at least one mom who is an adoptee. And Roger and I have been praying about and considering what our role is to be regarding orphans in this world. Are we to adopt? Are we to foster? Or is His plan that we support those who are called to the front lines of this ministry area?
While I have known people who have adopted, never before have I been surrounded by it the way I have felt these last two times we have been at co-op. Never before have I had the opportunity to have such an open and honest conversation about adoption and the blessings that come through it.
While I still don't know exactly what this means for our family, I have met some moms who feel the same burden that we feel, people who will pray for us as we seek God's guidance and wisdom and people I can contact when and if we have questions. So, while this co-op experience was only to be a brief season for us, it will undoubtedly have a bigger impact than I ever could have anticipated when we went for that first visit last spring.
Thank you to God who kept it afloat for these past few months, and to the WOM leadership who was faithful in following His leading to continue up until now.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Fill in the Blank
I want to try something out...an opportunity for input. I'll give you a sentence to complete and you finish it off in the comments section. This first one is for the homeschoolers out there because I want to hear your funny stories, too.
So, here it goes. Think Jeff Foxworthy as you read this...
"You might be a homeschooler..."
To get things started, here's my contribution. If you wake your 7 year old at 8:40 on a school day and she says, "I wish I didn't have to get up so early.", you might be a homeschooler.
So, here it goes. Think Jeff Foxworthy as you read this...
"You might be a homeschooler..."
To get things started, here's my contribution. If you wake your 7 year old at 8:40 on a school day and she says, "I wish I didn't have to get up so early.", you might be a homeschooler.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Our Busy Life
Somehow I have become the homeschooler who never seems to stay at home. We have always been so careful about how many outside activities we join. Our kids don't even join sport teams. But somehow this year I have taken on far much more than normal. We have AWANA and children's "choir" at church, American Heritage Girls, a homeschool support group, a co-op, small group through church and a social skills group. Our oldest also has physical and occupational therapy at this point to help with some of his autism symptoms.
I guess it's no wonder our house always looks as if an explosion has occurred since we only seem to use it lately as a place to stop over and lay our heads. Oddly enough, though, I'm really not complaining. I'm even kind of enjoying this season of involvement and busyness.
But, if you happen to think of me, please say a prayer that eventually I will learn how to balance things out better so that we can be busy and not have the house that looks like a Lego factory exploded. My husband will thank you for it.
I guess it's no wonder our house always looks as if an explosion has occurred since we only seem to use it lately as a place to stop over and lay our heads. Oddly enough, though, I'm really not complaining. I'm even kind of enjoying this season of involvement and busyness.
But, if you happen to think of me, please say a prayer that eventually I will learn how to balance things out better so that we can be busy and not have the house that looks like a Lego factory exploded. My husband will thank you for it.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Big or Little Purposes
One thing I have been pondering over the past few weeks or months (or perhaps my entire adult life) is purpose. What is my purpose? When will I achieve my purpose? And the list of questions goes on and on...
I often want some grandiose purpose. Something big, something that changes the lives of people I may not have even met. Why does that seem so important to me? What is the draw of grandiosity?
What if my "only" purpose in life is to support the work of others? What if my purpose is to train up my children to either do great things, or more probably to also support the work of others. What am I missing out on by always looking for something more and different? I am missing out on opportunities to encourage my husband and children, to be a blessing to the people around me, to offer assistance and prayer to my family, friends and neighbors.
I need to be willing to press on, to see God's glory in the little things and to bring Him glory through those little things. I need to be faithful in serving, praying and encouraging and to realize and always remember that these are important to God. Even though I may not see the "grandiose" purpose in them, these little things are the details in the great portrait God is painting, and they are important, and they are beautiful. But sometimes I forget this or I don't chose to focus on it. But I'm really thankful that He keeps drawing me back to this question, and He continues to show me that I am important to Him.
Help me Lord, to live each day with a focus on you. Help me to press on, and to run the race You have set before me, not wishing for the race that has been set before someone else. Help me to walk in the good deeds You have prepared for me. Help me to focus on being the best wife, mother and friend I can be and trust You to use these "details" toward creating a beautiful portrait.
I often want some grandiose purpose. Something big, something that changes the lives of people I may not have even met. Why does that seem so important to me? What is the draw of grandiosity?
What if my "only" purpose in life is to support the work of others? What if my purpose is to train up my children to either do great things, or more probably to also support the work of others. What am I missing out on by always looking for something more and different? I am missing out on opportunities to encourage my husband and children, to be a blessing to the people around me, to offer assistance and prayer to my family, friends and neighbors.
I need to be willing to press on, to see God's glory in the little things and to bring Him glory through those little things. I need to be faithful in serving, praying and encouraging and to realize and always remember that these are important to God. Even though I may not see the "grandiose" purpose in them, these little things are the details in the great portrait God is painting, and they are important, and they are beautiful. But sometimes I forget this or I don't chose to focus on it. But I'm really thankful that He keeps drawing me back to this question, and He continues to show me that I am important to Him.
Help me Lord, to live each day with a focus on you. Help me to press on, and to run the race You have set before me, not wishing for the race that has been set before someone else. Help me to walk in the good deeds You have prepared for me. Help me to focus on being the best wife, mother and friend I can be and trust You to use these "details" toward creating a beautiful portrait.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Fund Raiser Recant (sort of)
This is the promised semi-recant of a post I made several weeks ago regarding fund raisers...however, in my defense, you may remember that my initial post was about school fund raisers. But, to be honest, I'm sort of a fund raiser grinch, at least those that involve sales of things I don't really need or want. Often I'd rather make a smaller contribution but have the organization receive 100% of what I spend rather than have something else cluttering my house...especially since we have already established my housekeeping skills are not to be envied.
But, I have now come to the other side of the whole fund raiser experience, and my struggle with my former self begins. My daughter has just become a fund raiser for her American Heritage Girls troop. I knew it was coming, and I went in prepared, or so I thought. I was prepared to do the "buy out" option I felt certain would be offered. We write a check and we don't have to do any real fund raising. It's easy, it's quick and it's painless. It's over in a minute...
But then it began. My daughter saw the glossy sales folder, and her eyes began to sparkle. She heard she could finally get a chance to sell something. She has been itching to sell something (anything) to the people around her. She found out that she can earn a patch, and she turned to me with a huge smile and nodding her head. And suddenly, even if it had been offered, I knew there was no buy out option in our home. Because my daughter had completely and totally bought in to the idea of fund raising.
I am surprised by her enthusiasm, but am impressed by how well she is handling herself. She has practiced things to say to her potentialvictims customers, she is taking responsibility for calling her relatives, and we have discussed the mature and appropriate manner with which to handle someone saying "no thank you" when she approaches them about making a purchase. She even handled herself so well when practicing with me that I fell victim to her sweetness and maturity, and thusfar, I am her top purchasing customer.
So, anyone wanna buy a candle?
But, I have now come to the other side of the whole fund raiser experience, and my struggle with my former self begins. My daughter has just become a fund raiser for her American Heritage Girls troop. I knew it was coming, and I went in prepared, or so I thought. I was prepared to do the "buy out" option I felt certain would be offered. We write a check and we don't have to do any real fund raising. It's easy, it's quick and it's painless. It's over in a minute...
But then it began. My daughter saw the glossy sales folder, and her eyes began to sparkle. She heard she could finally get a chance to sell something. She has been itching to sell something (anything) to the people around her. She found out that she can earn a patch, and she turned to me with a huge smile and nodding her head. And suddenly, even if it had been offered, I knew there was no buy out option in our home. Because my daughter had completely and totally bought in to the idea of fund raising.
I am surprised by her enthusiasm, but am impressed by how well she is handling herself. She has practiced things to say to her potential
So, anyone wanna buy a candle?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
It Expired WHEN?
Well, I've always known that my housekeeping/organizing skills are not what others possess. I try to keep my eye on the positive and know that I am creative, and "creativity ain't always pretty." However, today I made a discovery that took me by surprise. I found out that soap has an expiration date...at least anti-bacterial soap does. Maybe it's just the antibacterial part that loses it's fight and the soap itself still cleans hands and other surfaces quite nicely.
So, how exactly did I find out that it expires? I came upon a large jug of Walmart brand antibacterial soap in our closet and happened to see that it expired...and it's not just a little expired. It expired 7 years ago!!! How is this possible, especially for a military family? It has survived 2 moves, made it through Hurricane Katrina and probably has lots of stories it could tell if it only could talk. And if it EXPIRED 7 years ago, we probably actually bought it a couple years before that. This bottle of soap may be older than our oldest child. And yet it still pours quite nicely. So, if you are looking for a long lasting liquid soap that doesn't congeal, I can (quite by accident) recommend the Walmart brand of anti-bacterial soap ;-)
So, how exactly did I find out that it expires? I came upon a large jug of Walmart brand antibacterial soap in our closet and happened to see that it expired...and it's not just a little expired. It expired 7 years ago!!! How is this possible, especially for a military family? It has survived 2 moves, made it through Hurricane Katrina and probably has lots of stories it could tell if it only could talk. And if it EXPIRED 7 years ago, we probably actually bought it a couple years before that. This bottle of soap may be older than our oldest child. And yet it still pours quite nicely. So, if you are looking for a long lasting liquid soap that doesn't congeal, I can (quite by accident) recommend the Walmart brand of anti-bacterial soap ;-)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Happy Birthday to Me
Today is my birthday - if you want to know my age, just ask my children because they will be more than happy to share that little piece of intel. In their defense, we do joke around a lot and give each other a hard time about lots of things, so they probably don't take me very seriously when I act offended by their over ambitious honesty.
They did treat me to a lovely day...here are a few of the highlights.
My 7 year old made me microwave popcorn for breakfast. She also said "Yes, ma'am - right away" when I asked her to do something.
My 5 year old told me "Go downstairs so I can give you your present," as soon as he saw me this morning. And he sang "Happy Birthday" to me with a mouth full of food, and then he wanted to know why I was laughing at him.
My 9 year old took it pretty well when I told him that on MY birthday I do not want to listen to HIM list off the things he wants for his birthday. He can wait until tomorrow to begin preparing that list. Although he took that redirection pretty well, he did later ask me when "Obey Mom Day" was going to be over...he's always good for a laugh.
So, all in all, this was a good birthday - one created by my children since their daddy had to be at work all day. At least he did the shopping all by himself (with the help of a wish list on Amazon), because there have been some crazy birthday presents in past years when the children "helped" with the shopping.
They did treat me to a lovely day...here are a few of the highlights.
My 7 year old made me microwave popcorn for breakfast. She also said "Yes, ma'am - right away" when I asked her to do something.
My 5 year old told me "Go downstairs so I can give you your present," as soon as he saw me this morning. And he sang "Happy Birthday" to me with a mouth full of food, and then he wanted to know why I was laughing at him.
My 9 year old took it pretty well when I told him that on MY birthday I do not want to listen to HIM list off the things he wants for his birthday. He can wait until tomorrow to begin preparing that list. Although he took that redirection pretty well, he did later ask me when "Obey Mom Day" was going to be over...he's always good for a laugh.
So, all in all, this was a good birthday - one created by my children since their daddy had to be at work all day. At least he did the shopping all by himself (with the help of a wish list on Amazon), because there have been some crazy birthday presents in past years when the children "helped" with the shopping.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Houdini the Beagle
Oh what a day! Actually, it's been quite a week. I'd refer to it as fragmented rather than busy, although we have been on the go a bit more than usual as well. Generally I struggle with a fragmented type of week. By fragmented, I mean that we have several places to go or things to accomplish, but they are not back-to-back. And I do not deal well with the chunks of time in between so not much gets accomplished on the homeschool front.
But Thursdays are a day where we have just one big thing to do, our homeschool co-op. It's a great opportunity for our children to do school activities with other children who are home educated. They get a chance to do the type of classroom activities that are harder to replicate at home, such as group presentations and science experiments. And we were looking forward to it all week.
We were almost ready to head out the door when we received a telephone call. "Are you Speedy's owner?" the lady on the other end of the phone said. "Yes?" I replied. "He is in front of my house" - which was about 2 blocks away. So, the kids and I head off - the oldest on his bike, the youngest on his scooter, my middle child and I on foot and I had the leash in hand.
Once we retrieved him from our nice neighbor who wanted to tell us all about the adventures Speedy had in her home while awaiting our arrival, we returned home, escorted him to his crate and headed on our way. We arrived late and this threw off our day, but at least we'd had our adventure for the day.
Or so I thought...guess who escaped 2 more times. Guess how many times we received the "Are you Speedy's owner?" phone call today. I think he may have met more neighbors today than we have met over the course of our 5 years in the neighborhood.
I never cease to be amazed at how right I was when I said that getting a second dog would grow my patience. Of course, when I said that, I never dreamed that second dog would be a beagle. Or that this Beagle should have been named Houdini or perhaps Patrick Henry. That was not my plan, but it seems he may be exactly what I needed.
But Thursdays are a day where we have just one big thing to do, our homeschool co-op. It's a great opportunity for our children to do school activities with other children who are home educated. They get a chance to do the type of classroom activities that are harder to replicate at home, such as group presentations and science experiments. And we were looking forward to it all week.
We were almost ready to head out the door when we received a telephone call. "Are you Speedy's owner?" the lady on the other end of the phone said. "Yes?" I replied. "He is in front of my house" - which was about 2 blocks away. So, the kids and I head off - the oldest on his bike, the youngest on his scooter, my middle child and I on foot and I had the leash in hand.
Once we retrieved him from our nice neighbor who wanted to tell us all about the adventures Speedy had in her home while awaiting our arrival, we returned home, escorted him to his crate and headed on our way. We arrived late and this threw off our day, but at least we'd had our adventure for the day.
Or so I thought...guess who escaped 2 more times. Guess how many times we received the "Are you Speedy's owner?" phone call today. I think he may have met more neighbors today than we have met over the course of our 5 years in the neighborhood.
I never cease to be amazed at how right I was when I said that getting a second dog would grow my patience. Of course, when I said that, I never dreamed that second dog would be a beagle. Or that this Beagle should have been named Houdini or perhaps Patrick Henry. That was not my plan, but it seems he may be exactly what I needed.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Can I Get a Straight Jacket?
Homeschooling can be such a wonderful thing. There are the times when my 5 year old tells me all about the Susan Constant, the Godspeed and the Discovery (the 3 ships the settlers took from England to Jamestown Colony). There are the wonderful times my 7 year old can make amazing comments about our need to pray for people we read about and the tender moments we can share reading together. And there are the times when I get to see my 9 year old light up as he is able to complete math skills that had him stumped only days before.
But then there is the other side - the days from hell!!! The days where I either want to call for a yellow bus to pick up my children or a straight jacket for myself. Very few people talk about these days because the right to homeschool was a hard fought battle. Either that, or no one else ever has these types of days...but I'm pretty sure it's just a well kept secret.
Today was turning into one of those days - I was a bit grumpy to start off the day and then kids whining about doing math and crying if they did not know an answer did nothing to improve my disposition. But even knowing I can be honest about it and "put it out there" that our homeschool is not perfectly run and is not filled with perfect children is a help to me.
It also helps me when I contemplate the fact that we would have these days even if I did put them on the bus and take a break from them each day. I would still be responsible for overseeing homework. I would still have battles over simply getting them up and onto that bus. There are no perfect days because we are imperfect people.
And, of course, prayer is paramount - I could not survive a day like this without it.
I read recently on someone's Facebook status "even if the grass is greener on the other side, you still have to mow it." This reminds me there are challenges to every lifestyle choice we make, even when we are tempted by something that looks better in the moment. We have chosen to homeschool because we feel led to do so. While I know it is the best for our family, that does not mean it will be easy. I have to continually remind myself of that because I do get tempted to throw in the towel far too easily and quickly. God is using this homeschool thing as yet another means to help me grow.
But then there is the other side - the days from hell!!! The days where I either want to call for a yellow bus to pick up my children or a straight jacket for myself. Very few people talk about these days because the right to homeschool was a hard fought battle. Either that, or no one else ever has these types of days...but I'm pretty sure it's just a well kept secret.
Today was turning into one of those days - I was a bit grumpy to start off the day and then kids whining about doing math and crying if they did not know an answer did nothing to improve my disposition. But even knowing I can be honest about it and "put it out there" that our homeschool is not perfectly run and is not filled with perfect children is a help to me.
It also helps me when I contemplate the fact that we would have these days even if I did put them on the bus and take a break from them each day. I would still be responsible for overseeing homework. I would still have battles over simply getting them up and onto that bus. There are no perfect days because we are imperfect people.
And, of course, prayer is paramount - I could not survive a day like this without it.
I read recently on someone's Facebook status "even if the grass is greener on the other side, you still have to mow it." This reminds me there are challenges to every lifestyle choice we make, even when we are tempted by something that looks better in the moment. We have chosen to homeschool because we feel led to do so. While I know it is the best for our family, that does not mean it will be easy. I have to continually remind myself of that because I do get tempted to throw in the towel far too easily and quickly. God is using this homeschool thing as yet another means to help me grow.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Was That a Shark in Our House?
My daughter tends to be forgetful and easily distracted. She is also not known for tidiness...all of these are traits she has acquired from me. Because I see the worst of myself in her when these qualities shine forth, I am often telling her, and reminding her, and re-reminding her about things that need to be put away and about things she is about to leave behind. I often threaten to put things in time out or to give away the toys she cannot seem to put away. And, as a mom, I feel justified in doing so.
Today she lost the arm of a Barbie to a Beagle with a love for plastic doll arms. This is not the first doll that has ended up in this condition. My daughter was devastated at first, and to be honest, there was a time when I would have somewhat rejoiced in this happening to "teach her a lesson." But, here is where God is working in my heart. This natural consequence (that I had warned her would happen if she left her doll out), broke my heart right along with hers. So instead of scolding her about how the doll ended up in the grasp of the rabid, Barbie-eating Beagle, I spoke with her about people who have lost their arms due to accidents or who were born with less than perfect arms. I told her about how they are still beautiful. We even decided that she could find a decorative band-aid and put it on the Barbie's arm to cover the teeth marks and make her injury more fashionable. Then my daughter decided on Barbie's new back story - shark attack!
I cannot even begin to list out all the things I learned from this little moment in our day. But I can share that I was thanking God for His work in me that allowed me to give my daughter a better memory of this day than I would have given her not too long ago.
Today she lost the arm of a Barbie to a Beagle with a love for plastic doll arms. This is not the first doll that has ended up in this condition. My daughter was devastated at first, and to be honest, there was a time when I would have somewhat rejoiced in this happening to "teach her a lesson." But, here is where God is working in my heart. This natural consequence (that I had warned her would happen if she left her doll out), broke my heart right along with hers. So instead of scolding her about how the doll ended up in the grasp of the rabid, Barbie-eating Beagle, I spoke with her about people who have lost their arms due to accidents or who were born with less than perfect arms. I told her about how they are still beautiful. We even decided that she could find a decorative band-aid and put it on the Barbie's arm to cover the teeth marks and make her injury more fashionable. Then my daughter decided on Barbie's new back story - shark attack!
I cannot even begin to list out all the things I learned from this little moment in our day. But I can share that I was thanking God for His work in me that allowed me to give my daughter a better memory of this day than I would have given her not too long ago.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I'm BA-ACK
It may appear to some that I have either a) fallen off the planet, or b) fallen off the blogging wagon. Well, the (possibly) good news is, I have done neither. Rather, I took a pre-planned break for a family vacation/extended field trip that was preceded by a two day "I'm over scheduled and a bit overwhelmed by life" break. But I forgot to tell anyone who may have been following this blog that I was going to be taking a break (that would be 3 people to whom I owe a big apology - LOL).
We're back, so now I'm back. I do have a very busy week ahead of me, but I hope to resume regular blogging, and I have rejoined the daily blogging challenge for this week.
We're back, so now I'm back. I do have a very busy week ahead of me, but I hope to resume regular blogging, and I have rejoined the daily blogging challenge for this week.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A Special Time
I just had to say "no" to something. It is so hard to say "no" to good things...especially when everyone just assumes you will say "yes." To many observers who don't take the time to find out why I said "no", it will not make sense. And saying "yes" would have been the easier path to take.
My daughter is joining American Heritage Girls this year. When I turned in her paperwork, I let the leadership know that I want to attend with my daughter because this is going to be our special time. The person I was speaking with threw up her hands in rejoicing...because my daughter's group has no leader yet. I quickly said "no" about being the leader, which was accepted without argument. But then the other person started talking about my being a "helper." I was told I would be trained and it would be fine even though I had never before set foot in an AHG meeting.
I left that night being unsure of what to do. On one hand, if I didn't help out, who would? And would my daughter even have a group to attend? But I had made her a promise...this time I would be all hers. This would be our time and she would be my main focus.
She does not get this type of opportunity often, and she is growing up. She's reaching an age where I need to focus more on training her and discipling her. We need to build memories together that do not always include her brothers or involve my telling her to wait until I have finished helping another child in one of her other activities.
At this point, I volunteer in her AWANA program and in some of her Sunday morning kids' worship times. I am also preparing to be an assistant teacher in her co-op class. But I am not just there for her. In fact, she has a brother in each of these times with her so even if I were only there for my children, she would still be sharing me. But I'm not just there for my children. I am there to serve and lead and assist with a group, and our children know that.
Even at home I am rarely able to give her undivided attention. She has an older brother on the autism spectrum, which means outside therapy appointments. It also means that he needs some extra one-on-one instruction with his academics. And she has a younger brother, who is simply the baby of the family. As the baby is known to do, he just finds ways to get attention for himself. So she is the only girl and the middle child, and she sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.
So, for now I have said "no." I just hope my "no" can remain a "no" throughout this upcoming year.
My daughter is joining American Heritage Girls this year. When I turned in her paperwork, I let the leadership know that I want to attend with my daughter because this is going to be our special time. The person I was speaking with threw up her hands in rejoicing...because my daughter's group has no leader yet. I quickly said "no" about being the leader, which was accepted without argument. But then the other person started talking about my being a "helper." I was told I would be trained and it would be fine even though I had never before set foot in an AHG meeting.
I left that night being unsure of what to do. On one hand, if I didn't help out, who would? And would my daughter even have a group to attend? But I had made her a promise...this time I would be all hers. This would be our time and she would be my main focus.
She does not get this type of opportunity often, and she is growing up. She's reaching an age where I need to focus more on training her and discipling her. We need to build memories together that do not always include her brothers or involve my telling her to wait until I have finished helping another child in one of her other activities.
At this point, I volunteer in her AWANA program and in some of her Sunday morning kids' worship times. I am also preparing to be an assistant teacher in her co-op class. But I am not just there for her. In fact, she has a brother in each of these times with her so even if I were only there for my children, she would still be sharing me. But I'm not just there for my children. I am there to serve and lead and assist with a group, and our children know that.
Even at home I am rarely able to give her undivided attention. She has an older brother on the autism spectrum, which means outside therapy appointments. It also means that he needs some extra one-on-one instruction with his academics. And she has a younger brother, who is simply the baby of the family. As the baby is known to do, he just finds ways to get attention for himself. So she is the only girl and the middle child, and she sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.
So, for now I have said "no." I just hope my "no" can remain a "no" throughout this upcoming year.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
My Secret Life
I've been keeping a secret from my husband. It's not a terrible secret, but it is a secret about how I've been spending some of my time. What is this secret life I've been leading?
This blog.
Why have I kept it a secret? Because I so often start off on new ventures, throwing myself into them with great abandon...only to later abandon these great new ventures in favor of the next thing that turns my head.
My dear husband has seen me through two direct sales ventures, a variety of new curriculum that will be "perfect" for our homeschool, and more systems than either of us can probably ever list. He has seen me through weight loss (and re-gain), exercise programs that fell by the wayside when I fell off the wagon, and hobbies that filled up rooms only to be cast aside.
And he has never complained. I'm not sure why, but in general, he has been more than gracious about each of these new undertakings. But this time, I wanted to be sure before I pulled him into yet another hobby in which I wanted to dabble.
We are very different, he and I . When he says he has "been thinking" about a new hobby or some other activity, he means he has actually weighed the pros and cons and has decided that he wants to go ahead with it. He also means he will actually stick with it.
When I say I have "been thinking" about a new hobby, I mean the thought just popped into my head, and I'm going to jump in with both feet and give it a try. And I will probably quickly lose interest and move on to something else.
So, today I sent him an email with the link to this blog because I'm past that initial "thinking about it" stage. I hope this doesn't mean that it will be yet another venture that gets cast aside, because I'm really enjoying this opportunity to write.
Welcome to my blog, Dear Husband. I hope you enjoy what you read.
This blog.
Why have I kept it a secret? Because I so often start off on new ventures, throwing myself into them with great abandon...only to later abandon these great new ventures in favor of the next thing that turns my head.
My dear husband has seen me through two direct sales ventures, a variety of new curriculum that will be "perfect" for our homeschool, and more systems than either of us can probably ever list. He has seen me through weight loss (and re-gain), exercise programs that fell by the wayside when I fell off the wagon, and hobbies that filled up rooms only to be cast aside.
And he has never complained. I'm not sure why, but in general, he has been more than gracious about each of these new undertakings. But this time, I wanted to be sure before I pulled him into yet another hobby in which I wanted to dabble.
We are very different, he and I . When he says he has "been thinking" about a new hobby or some other activity, he means he has actually weighed the pros and cons and has decided that he wants to go ahead with it. He also means he will actually stick with it.
When I say I have "been thinking" about a new hobby, I mean the thought just popped into my head, and I'm going to jump in with both feet and give it a try. And I will probably quickly lose interest and move on to something else.
So, today I sent him an email with the link to this blog because I'm past that initial "thinking about it" stage. I hope this doesn't mean that it will be yet another venture that gets cast aside, because I'm really enjoying this opportunity to write.
Welcome to my blog, Dear Husband. I hope you enjoy what you read.
Humor in Failure
Tonight I'm not feeling particularly chatty. In fact, the only reason I'm posting at all is that I made a commitment to do so, and I'm working on keeping the commitments I make.
So, rather than ramble on, I am going to simply share a quote from one of the books I'm presently reading. I read based on my mood, so I do often have multiple books going at once. This is especially true for non-fiction books.
This quote if from Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst. "There is humor to be found in almost every failure, if only we'll look for it."
So, tomorrow if I fail, I hope to find humor in whatever that failure may be. And I'd love to hear your best (and funniest) failure stories. I know I'll be sharing mine as I go along...it seems like yesterday's story of my attempt at catching our dog falls firmly into that very category.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Wet, Racing Dogs Can Build Patience
This afternoon I had an experience I wasn't expecting.
It had been raining out (which I didn't realize) and our dogs were out in it - getting soaked. When we brought them in, it was obvious our younger (also described as "wilder") dog would need to spend the afternoon in his crate or he would get everything wet. But he had other ideas.
He started by wrestling with his "big brother". He did stop long enough to cooperate and head upstairs per my request. But he blasted into our room where my husband had been resting. He then shot quickly back out of the room and down the stairs. After a quick tour of the main floor he returned upstairs and actually ran into his crate.
Good - I had him just where I wanted him...until he shot back out of that crate and blasted onto the bed, landing on the sleeping (and fairly grumpy) cat. So, sleeping cat and resting husband were no longer doing either - in fact, sleeping cat had become a whirling ball of fur and claws. As a result, the crazy dog shot back off the bed after the cat, but by then I had gotten wise enough to close the bedroom door so both were trapped. They then began running circles around me. When he finally came to a stop and simply resorted to obnoxious barking I was able to catch him and escort him to his crate.
When we first got this dog I honestly told my husband that I thought getting another pet would be good for me because felt I needed the growth in patience it would provide. Yes, I said that. I wish I could say that was a mistake on my part. But it wasn't.
So often we are told not to pray for patience. And yet, patience is listed in Galatians 5:22-23 among the evidences we are to find in our lives - the "Fruit of the Spirit". God wants us to display patience just as much as He wants us to display love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and (the other dreaded one) self control. These are all areas in which we need to grow.
Today's lesson in patience brought me to fits of laughter. A few months ago it may have easily brought me to fits of anger. I guess sometimes growing in patience can be comical. By the way, before we even really knew much about this dog, we named him "Speedy". Some days I wish we'd picked "Sleepy", "Lazy" or "Pokey" instead.
It had been raining out (which I didn't realize) and our dogs were out in it - getting soaked. When we brought them in, it was obvious our younger (also described as "wilder") dog would need to spend the afternoon in his crate or he would get everything wet. But he had other ideas.
He started by wrestling with his "big brother". He did stop long enough to cooperate and head upstairs per my request. But he blasted into our room where my husband had been resting. He then shot quickly back out of the room and down the stairs. After a quick tour of the main floor he returned upstairs and actually ran into his crate.
Good - I had him just where I wanted him...until he shot back out of that crate and blasted onto the bed, landing on the sleeping (and fairly grumpy) cat. So, sleeping cat and resting husband were no longer doing either - in fact, sleeping cat had become a whirling ball of fur and claws. As a result, the crazy dog shot back off the bed after the cat, but by then I had gotten wise enough to close the bedroom door so both were trapped. They then began running circles around me. When he finally came to a stop and simply resorted to obnoxious barking I was able to catch him and escort him to his crate.
When we first got this dog I honestly told my husband that I thought getting another pet would be good for me because felt I needed the growth in patience it would provide. Yes, I said that. I wish I could say that was a mistake on my part. But it wasn't.
So often we are told not to pray for patience. And yet, patience is listed in Galatians 5:22-23 among the evidences we are to find in our lives - the "Fruit of the Spirit". God wants us to display patience just as much as He wants us to display love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and (the other dreaded one) self control. These are all areas in which we need to grow.
Today's lesson in patience brought me to fits of laughter. A few months ago it may have easily brought me to fits of anger. I guess sometimes growing in patience can be comical. By the way, before we even really knew much about this dog, we named him "Speedy". Some days I wish we'd picked "Sleepy", "Lazy" or "Pokey" instead.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Showers of Blessings
About a month or two ago, something dawned on me. I'm selfish. I guess since I'm also human this really should not have been a big surprise. But it was.
I had felt pretty justified in my interactions with others and felt like if there was a difference of opinion, I was generally right and they just needed to see things my way. And I'd do all that was within my power to try to show them the light - I'm "helpful" like that.
But then it hit me one day. I was not being a blessing to the people around me. I'm not really sure why that had not been especially important to me before. Or why, once I realized this flaw, it became far more important to me to be a blessing, but that is kind of how God has seemed to work in my life time and time again.
While I often envy the people with the amazing testimony of total transformation, I am coming to realize that I couldn't handle it. I need things in smaller doses. Smaller transformations at a time, so that they will be lasting transformations.
So, my daily prayer for these past couple of months has been for God to show me how I can be a blessing to someone around me that day. I have often been an "all or nothing" type of person, so this has been a project in discipline. To daily come before my Heavenly Father and actually present myself as a sacrifice to Him and ask that He give me a task to do for someone else, has been very humbling for me.
And yet, as with everything God shows me to do, while I have started out making an effort to be a blessing to others, I often find that I am the one who ends up being the most blessed for the experience.
I had felt pretty justified in my interactions with others and felt like if there was a difference of opinion, I was generally right and they just needed to see things my way. And I'd do all that was within my power to try to show them the light - I'm "helpful" like that.
But then it hit me one day. I was not being a blessing to the people around me. I'm not really sure why that had not been especially important to me before. Or why, once I realized this flaw, it became far more important to me to be a blessing, but that is kind of how God has seemed to work in my life time and time again.
While I often envy the people with the amazing testimony of total transformation, I am coming to realize that I couldn't handle it. I need things in smaller doses. Smaller transformations at a time, so that they will be lasting transformations.
So, my daily prayer for these past couple of months has been for God to show me how I can be a blessing to someone around me that day. I have often been an "all or nothing" type of person, so this has been a project in discipline. To daily come before my Heavenly Father and actually present myself as a sacrifice to Him and ask that He give me a task to do for someone else, has been very humbling for me.
And yet, as with everything God shows me to do, while I have started out making an effort to be a blessing to others, I often find that I am the one who ends up being the most blessed for the experience.
A Visit to the Doctor
I had an interesting visit to the doctor's office today.
First, as I was discussing the medications that I have been taking in recent months, I informed the tech that the extended release form was not working as well as the short acting form had worked. She then shared that she is on extended release for ADD and has experienced the same thing with her medications. She said that it seems to wear off around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. She then began talking about her children who like to try to sleep in on the weekdays, but who wake up at the "butt crack" of dawn on the weekends. While it was only 10AM when she said this, I'd venture to say that her meds had already worn off as her impulse control was not working.
Then, while waiting for my meds to be refilled I noticed that a "lady" in the waiting area was wearing a lovely sundress. However, it covered almost none of her bra, which she seemed to be wearing as an accessory and not as the secret that Victoria recommends.
As I sat there pondering all these things and shocked at the behaviors of those around me, I had someone sit down beside me who struck up a conversation. I realized fairly quickly I had actually met her before, but she did not seem to remember me. I decided to keep my identity quiet as it might negatively impact our conversation. You see, when I met her before, it was because she approached my husband and I when she was his patient.
Today, she was sharing with me that she is a cancer patient and that she has sought second opinions because her options have become so limited. She is presently receiving radiation in hopes of being a candidate for surgery. She shared that her child is getting ready to turn 4 next week and the day after she will be meeting with the surgeon to find out if he is willing to operate. If so, she will lose her leg and her bladder. If not, she will lose her life. If she had realized I am the wife of the doctor whose opinion she did not trust, she may have simply walked away and not shared what is happening in her life.
I cannot imagine what she is facing yet she cried no tears, just shared. I don't know what her secret is, because I cry over the dumbest things. She shared about a recent trip to Disney that others had given their family through fund raising and how they had been so blessed through it all. She showed me a picture of her children, 3 and 8 years old. And she did it all with an upbeat attitude.
Every day recently I have prayed and asked that God will show me someone who I can bless at some point in the day. I don't know if He answered that prayer today because I never felt as if I went out of my way to be a blessing to anyone. But, He did bless me today. I cannot imagine being in the position of praying that you can lose your leg just so you can spend more time with the people you love. But I interacted with someone today is who is praying that very thing right now and preparing herself for the "no" answer she may receive next week.
For anyone who reads this, I don't know her name, and I'll probably never have an update because my DH cannot share such information with me out of respect for confidentiality, but I do hope you will lift her up in your prayers.
First, as I was discussing the medications that I have been taking in recent months, I informed the tech that the extended release form was not working as well as the short acting form had worked. She then shared that she is on extended release for ADD and has experienced the same thing with her medications. She said that it seems to wear off around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. She then began talking about her children who like to try to sleep in on the weekdays, but who wake up at the "butt crack" of dawn on the weekends. While it was only 10AM when she said this, I'd venture to say that her meds had already worn off as her impulse control was not working.
Then, while waiting for my meds to be refilled I noticed that a "lady" in the waiting area was wearing a lovely sundress. However, it covered almost none of her bra, which she seemed to be wearing as an accessory and not as the secret that Victoria recommends.
As I sat there pondering all these things and shocked at the behaviors of those around me, I had someone sit down beside me who struck up a conversation. I realized fairly quickly I had actually met her before, but she did not seem to remember me. I decided to keep my identity quiet as it might negatively impact our conversation. You see, when I met her before, it was because she approached my husband and I when she was his patient.
Today, she was sharing with me that she is a cancer patient and that she has sought second opinions because her options have become so limited. She is presently receiving radiation in hopes of being a candidate for surgery. She shared that her child is getting ready to turn 4 next week and the day after she will be meeting with the surgeon to find out if he is willing to operate. If so, she will lose her leg and her bladder. If not, she will lose her life. If she had realized I am the wife of the doctor whose opinion she did not trust, she may have simply walked away and not shared what is happening in her life.
I cannot imagine what she is facing yet she cried no tears, just shared. I don't know what her secret is, because I cry over the dumbest things. She shared about a recent trip to Disney that others had given their family through fund raising and how they had been so blessed through it all. She showed me a picture of her children, 3 and 8 years old. And she did it all with an upbeat attitude.
Every day recently I have prayed and asked that God will show me someone who I can bless at some point in the day. I don't know if He answered that prayer today because I never felt as if I went out of my way to be a blessing to anyone. But, He did bless me today. I cannot imagine being in the position of praying that you can lose your leg just so you can spend more time with the people you love. But I interacted with someone today is who is praying that very thing right now and preparing herself for the "no" answer she may receive next week.
For anyone who reads this, I don't know her name, and I'll probably never have an update because my DH cannot share such information with me out of respect for confidentiality, but I do hope you will lift her up in your prayers.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
No Glitter
When I started this blog about 10 days ago, I was not sure what I was getting myself into. I'd been considering it, but thought I'd probably end up doing a blog with lots of pictures of my children and their activities. I thought it might be a good way to chronicle their school year and to keep family in other parts of the country abreast of what was happening.
But something happened on the way to that first blog post. Instead of pics of my kids and sharing of our daily happenings, I felt a need to share more of myself. This has turned into a wonderful creative outlet for me. I've always had a desire to be a writer, but felt I lacked some key elements necessary for writing anything of great length. First, I have no creative ideas so works of fiction are beyond me. Any time I thought that I may have an original idea, I later came to realize I'd either already read a book just like it or seen the movie. And as for the possibility of writing a work of non-fiction, I don't have the stick-with-it-ness needed to do the research and follow it all through to completion.
But I'm discovering that my mind is perfectly suited to the blog. I seem to even think in blog posts several times a day now as if I am creating something even when I'm not at the computer...it will probably start to drive me crazy at some point, but for now, it's kind of fun. The other great thing about blogging is there is absolutely no clean up like every other creative venture I've embarked upon...and I do not need an entire room devoted to it like the one I have filled with cardstock, ink pads, rubber stamps, punches, ribbons...well, you get the picture. And no glitter to vacuum.
I think I could get used to this...
But something happened on the way to that first blog post. Instead of pics of my kids and sharing of our daily happenings, I felt a need to share more of myself. This has turned into a wonderful creative outlet for me. I've always had a desire to be a writer, but felt I lacked some key elements necessary for writing anything of great length. First, I have no creative ideas so works of fiction are beyond me. Any time I thought that I may have an original idea, I later came to realize I'd either already read a book just like it or seen the movie. And as for the possibility of writing a work of non-fiction, I don't have the stick-with-it-ness needed to do the research and follow it all through to completion.
But I'm discovering that my mind is perfectly suited to the blog. I seem to even think in blog posts several times a day now as if I am creating something even when I'm not at the computer...it will probably start to drive me crazy at some point, but for now, it's kind of fun. The other great thing about blogging is there is absolutely no clean up like every other creative venture I've embarked upon...and I do not need an entire room devoted to it like the one I have filled with cardstock, ink pads, rubber stamps, punches, ribbons...well, you get the picture. And no glitter to vacuum.
I think I could get used to this...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Would you like to buy...
Today's blog is brought to you by my grumpy side. She showed up when I awoke this morning and she stayed with me much of the day. I hadn't seen much of her in a while, but she brought her funky self back around today.
So, today is a little rambling about a pet peeve I have...school fund raisers.
Don't get me wrong. I did a little school fund raising in my day. Once a year we had a magazine and cassette tape drive...yes, I do believe it was pre-CD when we were doing this little fund raiser. For all I know, it may have included 8-track tapes. But that was our one fund raiser for the year. We were not expected to go door-to-door multiple times a year to support every activity offered by our school.
The schools in our district have been open for 7 days so far this school year, and already I have had 2 people ring my doorbell in an attempt to get me to support the schools. As a tax payer, I thought that I was already doing that. And as a homeschooling taxpayer, I gladly support other people's children's education in part (through our taxes), and our children's education in full (through my husband's take home pay).
I don't begrudge paying taxes to benefit the schools in our community because good schools and education benefit everyone in the community. But I do grow weary of being asked time and time again to financially support the schools above and beyond our fair share of taxes. And I grow weary of dreading opening my door because I'll again be faced with the decision to "support" or not.
Maybe the truth of it is I'm just a little jealous. Maybe I'll come up with a great name for our school and and try to raise some funds.
But, I guess I'll just politely say "no thank you" yet again the next time a young person rings my doorbell and asks me to support their school activities through buying cookie dough, citrus, pizza coupons, entertainment books or wrapping paper. I'll remind myself that they are not the ones who are coming up with all these ideas.
Who knows, maybe I'll even buy something so these poor kids can get home and do their homework instead of working to keep the schools afloat.
So, today is a little rambling about a pet peeve I have...school fund raisers.
Don't get me wrong. I did a little school fund raising in my day. Once a year we had a magazine and cassette tape drive...yes, I do believe it was pre-CD when we were doing this little fund raiser. For all I know, it may have included 8-track tapes. But that was our one fund raiser for the year. We were not expected to go door-to-door multiple times a year to support every activity offered by our school.
The schools in our district have been open for 7 days so far this school year, and already I have had 2 people ring my doorbell in an attempt to get me to support the schools. As a tax payer, I thought that I was already doing that. And as a homeschooling taxpayer, I gladly support other people's children's education in part (through our taxes), and our children's education in full (through my husband's take home pay).
I don't begrudge paying taxes to benefit the schools in our community because good schools and education benefit everyone in the community. But I do grow weary of being asked time and time again to financially support the schools above and beyond our fair share of taxes. And I grow weary of dreading opening my door because I'll again be faced with the decision to "support" or not.
Maybe the truth of it is I'm just a little jealous. Maybe I'll come up with a great name for our school and and try to raise some funds.
But, I guess I'll just politely say "no thank you" yet again the next time a young person rings my doorbell and asks me to support their school activities through buying cookie dough, citrus, pizza coupons, entertainment books or wrapping paper. I'll remind myself that they are not the ones who are coming up with all these ideas.
Who knows, maybe I'll even buy something so these poor kids can get home and do their homework instead of working to keep the schools afloat.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Hannah Montana
Yesterday my daughter started talking about how she wished we had Hannah Montana available for her to watch because one of her neighborhood friends watches it. I sort of remembered that I'd seen it available on Netflix, so when she was out of the house with her father, I sat down and watched my second ever episode of Miss Montana's TV show.
We'd been through this exact same experience 3 years ago when we still had the Disney channel and I'd decided to see if it was an appropriate show for her because lots of other girls her age were watching it with older siblings.
I could see why it's entertaining and how it would be appealing to young girls. There are teenagers to look up to and to see into their day-to-day lives at school. And the main character is also a rock star. Disney had a great concept for getting the attention of the tweens and younger. And it seems so clean, so it is probably accepted in lots of homes.
But both times the thing that struck me the most, and tipped the scales against the show in our home is that the teens are all kind of mean to each other. There are the standard sibling insults, which is something that comes across as being funny. But funny can hurt in real life.
And there are the obligatory "popular" girls who are mean to Miley and her best friend, and then Miley and her friend dish it back. And it's supposed to be "funny" and "entertaining". But we females really need to learn to build strong, supportive friendships. We need to learn to encourage each other and build each other up. And entertaining young girls by showing them females divided and tearing each other down to gain the attention of a boy or to make themselves feel good is not okay for our girl.
I told my daughter that I had listened to her request and had watched another episode to better judge the show, but that the answer is still "no". I explained why and that God wants us to "think on things that are good, lovely and pure" (Phil 4:8) and that saying mean things about people in order to entertain is none of these things.
I thought she'd be upset and cry. I told her that it's hard to make decisions like this because I want to give her what she wants, but sometimes I need to tell her "no" because it's not the best thing for her. She handled it very well and simply requested that she have a chance to watch "a girly movie" sometime soon. I told her I thought we should send the boys out to do some guy stuff and we could have a girly afternoon really soon.
I can't wait.
We'd been through this exact same experience 3 years ago when we still had the Disney channel and I'd decided to see if it was an appropriate show for her because lots of other girls her age were watching it with older siblings.
I could see why it's entertaining and how it would be appealing to young girls. There are teenagers to look up to and to see into their day-to-day lives at school. And the main character is also a rock star. Disney had a great concept for getting the attention of the tweens and younger. And it seems so clean, so it is probably accepted in lots of homes.
But both times the thing that struck me the most, and tipped the scales against the show in our home is that the teens are all kind of mean to each other. There are the standard sibling insults, which is something that comes across as being funny. But funny can hurt in real life.
And there are the obligatory "popular" girls who are mean to Miley and her best friend, and then Miley and her friend dish it back. And it's supposed to be "funny" and "entertaining". But we females really need to learn to build strong, supportive friendships. We need to learn to encourage each other and build each other up. And entertaining young girls by showing them females divided and tearing each other down to gain the attention of a boy or to make themselves feel good is not okay for our girl.
I told my daughter that I had listened to her request and had watched another episode to better judge the show, but that the answer is still "no". I explained why and that God wants us to "think on things that are good, lovely and pure" (Phil 4:8) and that saying mean things about people in order to entertain is none of these things.
I thought she'd be upset and cry. I told her that it's hard to make decisions like this because I want to give her what she wants, but sometimes I need to tell her "no" because it's not the best thing for her. She handled it very well and simply requested that she have a chance to watch "a girly movie" sometime soon. I told her I thought we should send the boys out to do some guy stuff and we could have a girly afternoon really soon.
I can't wait.
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Way Out
Today was not a day of good attitudes if you are a female and part of our family...well, the female cat may have been in a good mood. But if she'd been made to interact with anyone else, she would have been cranky along with the other two of us.
The day started out pretty good, but Mondays are a very busy day, so it can quickly fall apart into times of irritation. And I took 2 children to the grocery store...during school hours...which can lead to questioning and unpleasant looks from others in the store. So perhaps I was primed for a grumpy moment.
The moment came when I went to resume our school for the day, and the darling middle child said "I don't like school. It's no fun." I was in no mood for this. I wanted to yell. I even wanted to curse, and I don't curse. I don't even know why this set me off. Sometimes I take these comments personally - maybe because I pour so much into my efforts at schooling our children, and it hurts when it isn't appreciated. And this was even the fun part of the day that brought on the complaining. But I know they need it, so I press on. However, today was almost a breaking point.
Thankfully, God was faithful, just as His word says He will be. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we are told "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
The way out today was to calmly tell my children I needed a moment to pray and as I prayed, He brought a song we recently learned to my mind. "I will persevere. I will never, never quit. I will follow God and I will stick to it. I will not give up, not one single little bit. I will persevere."
And then I was able to ask my boys to leave the room so my daughter and I could talk calmly. I was able to remind her that while she may not always enjoy it, getting an education is important. I was able to explain to her that words can hurt adults' feelings, too, and that we need to be more careful with our words. And I was able to give her a hug and let her know that I love her, but I will still make her do her school work.
Thank You, God, for Your promise to provide a way out of the temptations. Please, help me to remember to look for it every time I am tempted to give in to sin.
The day started out pretty good, but Mondays are a very busy day, so it can quickly fall apart into times of irritation. And I took 2 children to the grocery store...during school hours...which can lead to questioning and unpleasant looks from others in the store. So perhaps I was primed for a grumpy moment.
The moment came when I went to resume our school for the day, and the darling middle child said "I don't like school. It's no fun." I was in no mood for this. I wanted to yell. I even wanted to curse, and I don't curse. I don't even know why this set me off. Sometimes I take these comments personally - maybe because I pour so much into my efforts at schooling our children, and it hurts when it isn't appreciated. And this was even the fun part of the day that brought on the complaining. But I know they need it, so I press on. However, today was almost a breaking point.
Thankfully, God was faithful, just as His word says He will be. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we are told "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
The way out today was to calmly tell my children I needed a moment to pray and as I prayed, He brought a song we recently learned to my mind. "I will persevere. I will never, never quit. I will follow God and I will stick to it. I will not give up, not one single little bit. I will persevere."
And then I was able to ask my boys to leave the room so my daughter and I could talk calmly. I was able to remind her that while she may not always enjoy it, getting an education is important. I was able to explain to her that words can hurt adults' feelings, too, and that we need to be more careful with our words. And I was able to give her a hug and let her know that I love her, but I will still make her do her school work.
Thank You, God, for Your promise to provide a way out of the temptations. Please, help me to remember to look for it every time I am tempted to give in to sin.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Six Years Ago Today
Six years ago today, I woke up and turned on The Weather Channel. I'd gone to bed feeling fairly certain I was going to stay put, although I was considering running away. What I saw when I turned on TWC made me certain that staying put was not my best option.
What could make me so certain of the need to run for my life? I saw Jim Cantorre standing on the beach in front of a pirate ship shaped casino in Gulfport, MS...about 5 miles from where I sat watching TV.
We had just moved to Biloxi, MS 2 months prior and had already survived 2 tropical storms and evacuated for a hurricane that ended up going to visit Florida instead. But send Jim Cantorre somewhere and the storms will follow.
We had planned to run as a family and had been boarding up the house. Then we got the call that I did not want to get - my DH was informed that his services would be needed on base in a shelter and he would not be allowed to evacuate. The kids and I were welcome to remain in the shelter and we thought we just might do that but the shelters would be offices where people work - and I would be responsible for keeping a 3 1/2 and a 1 1/2 year old out of other people's stuff for who knows how long. And I was a few weeks pregnant and feeling kind of crummy. And we had 2 cats who would have no place to go. And Jim Cantorre was in my neighborhood so the storm would come.
So, the kids and I packed up faster than we've ever packed in our lives and in an hour or so from when the decision was made, we set out in an effort to out run the storm. God was very much with us because from what I've heard, had we left only about 15 minutes later, we would have been caught in severe traffic and had terrible delays.
What started out to be a brief evacuation, ended up turning into a departure from Biloxi for the next 4 1/2 months, only to prepare to move away because of storm damage to the base hospital. It also started out a period of time that did not change me for the better (at least in the interim) and that took me a long time to process and move forward from.
We were among the very lucky who did not lose our lives or our home, and yet I struggled greatly with what we had experienced. Today, I don't know if I can honestly say I'm thankful for that time because I really loved what Biloxi was like pre-storm and I haven't really gotten to see it post-storm. I enjoyed the friendships we were beginning to form and the church where we were settling in.
But I also know that I have grown through the trials and that I have learned (after much battling with myself over the feelings I had) that God is truly with me in the tough things. I've learned more about struggles and standing strong in my faith because of this experience and things that were to come in the year that followed. And so, for what I have learned, I am thankful.
But, if I'm really honest, I will say that some days, it's still hard to think back on that time.
What could make me so certain of the need to run for my life? I saw Jim Cantorre standing on the beach in front of a pirate ship shaped casino in Gulfport, MS...about 5 miles from where I sat watching TV.
We had just moved to Biloxi, MS 2 months prior and had already survived 2 tropical storms and evacuated for a hurricane that ended up going to visit Florida instead. But send Jim Cantorre somewhere and the storms will follow.
We had planned to run as a family and had been boarding up the house. Then we got the call that I did not want to get - my DH was informed that his services would be needed on base in a shelter and he would not be allowed to evacuate. The kids and I were welcome to remain in the shelter and we thought we just might do that but the shelters would be offices where people work - and I would be responsible for keeping a 3 1/2 and a 1 1/2 year old out of other people's stuff for who knows how long. And I was a few weeks pregnant and feeling kind of crummy. And we had 2 cats who would have no place to go. And Jim Cantorre was in my neighborhood so the storm would come.
So, the kids and I packed up faster than we've ever packed in our lives and in an hour or so from when the decision was made, we set out in an effort to out run the storm. God was very much with us because from what I've heard, had we left only about 15 minutes later, we would have been caught in severe traffic and had terrible delays.
What started out to be a brief evacuation, ended up turning into a departure from Biloxi for the next 4 1/2 months, only to prepare to move away because of storm damage to the base hospital. It also started out a period of time that did not change me for the better (at least in the interim) and that took me a long time to process and move forward from.
We were among the very lucky who did not lose our lives or our home, and yet I struggled greatly with what we had experienced. Today, I don't know if I can honestly say I'm thankful for that time because I really loved what Biloxi was like pre-storm and I haven't really gotten to see it post-storm. I enjoyed the friendships we were beginning to form and the church where we were settling in.
But I also know that I have grown through the trials and that I have learned (after much battling with myself over the feelings I had) that God is truly with me in the tough things. I've learned more about struggles and standing strong in my faith because of this experience and things that were to come in the year that followed. And so, for what I have learned, I am thankful.
But, if I'm really honest, I will say that some days, it's still hard to think back on that time.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I'm a Project Girl Who is Learning to Maintain
I am a project girl, not a maintenance one. This can get me into big trouble. If I start a project, sometimes I just don't want to stop. And once I finish a project, I want it to be done.
But life isn't a project, and that's where my problems lie. A friend shares a problem, I want to fix it and be done with it. I see a flaw in myself, again, fix it and move on. My kids don't understand a new concept, I'll explain it once, but don't really want to have to keep repeating it.
And yet most problems are not a quick fix and flaws and bad habits are an ongoing fix that requires maintenance. I just don't do maintenance well.
Recently, I've come to realize a little bit more about the idea of taking up my cross daily and following Christ. It involves my daily confessing sins, even ones I haven't blatantly displayed in recent days. It involves my thanking Him that He brought me through the day before without displaying that attitude or behavior and asking Him once again to remove that sin from me for the day ahead. It means really praying about change and filling my mind with His scripture daily. It means realizing that turning from sin is not a project that is done once and completed. It is about maintenance.
And I'm beginning to get that, one day at a time.
But life isn't a project, and that's where my problems lie. A friend shares a problem, I want to fix it and be done with it. I see a flaw in myself, again, fix it and move on. My kids don't understand a new concept, I'll explain it once, but don't really want to have to keep repeating it.
And yet most problems are not a quick fix and flaws and bad habits are an ongoing fix that requires maintenance. I just don't do maintenance well.
Recently, I've come to realize a little bit more about the idea of taking up my cross daily and following Christ. It involves my daily confessing sins, even ones I haven't blatantly displayed in recent days. It involves my thanking Him that He brought me through the day before without displaying that attitude or behavior and asking Him once again to remove that sin from me for the day ahead. It means really praying about change and filling my mind with His scripture daily. It means realizing that turning from sin is not a project that is done once and completed. It is about maintenance.
And I'm beginning to get that, one day at a time.
Friday, August 26, 2011
The More Important Reason
Yesterday I mentioned that I'd discovered/been reminded of 2 things that are great about homeschooling, with our own schedule being one. But, the more important reason, and the one that does truly carry weight in our decision, is that I have the opportunity to engage in meaningful discussions with our children as they are learning new things.
We have been doing a study of world geography and cultures from the Confessions of a Homeschooler blog called Expedition Earth. We've been studying China. It's a wonderful study and it includes a book about the prayer needs of each country, so my children are becoming sensitive to their needs and the differences in our beliefs and the beliefs of others.
Yesterday, I added on watching Everest on Netflix since we had read about Mt. Everest in our information on China. As part of the movie, the spiritual beliefs of one of the men climbing Everest was discussed and my daughter had several questions. In addition, during the course of the climb, there was a terrible storm and several people lost their lives. My daughter wanted to talk about how she hoped the men who had died knew Jesus before they died.
These are the moments I would miss if they were not at home learning at my side.
Lord, help me remember that the next time I sit here wishing that lovely, yellow bus would stop instead of driving past each morning.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
A Lovely Thing
There are lots of reasons we have chosen to homeschool, and some days I need reminders of those initial reasons and reasons we've found along the way. Today I stumbled upon 2 reasons that make homeschooling wonderful (although only one of them would really sway my decision if I were making it over again).
Last night as I went to bed, I saw we were under a "Severe Thunderstorm Watch" until 5AM...well, this storm did not disappoint. I'm sure I was aware of it before there was a light tapping on my ankle that came from our oldest who was timidly seeking permission to climb into our bed. Sometimes I forget he fears thunderstorms - mostly because he also hates to leave his room at night to seek comfort. I don't know if this is just his personality or his being on the autism spectrum, but whatever the reason he often just suffers in silence during a storm...so yes, this one was a doozy.
Next to appear was our daughter...with her cat trailing her. Wherever she goes, he goes. I told her to go to her father's side of the bed as mine was already occupied by her older brother and the cat who never leaves my side at night...so that brings us to 4 people and 2 cats in our bed. Somehow, our youngest never really gets bothered by thunderstorms, so he rode it out in his room. However, the dog who barks at everything but fears his own shadow was quaking at my side of the bed, causing it to shake ever so slightly.
Needless to say, not a lot of sleeping occurred in our house last night. So, I was ever so pleased that the kids and I did not need to get up for a bus or for anyone else's schedule. All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary bus roared down our street. All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary school began their school for the day. And one of the kids almost made it to lunch time. But we weren't cranky with each other and learning happened once we were better rested (although I did still sneak in a brief nap after all the learning was done). That is a lovely thing!!
I think I'll save my 2nd discovery for tomorrow's blog.
Last night as I went to bed, I saw we were under a "Severe Thunderstorm Watch" until 5AM...well, this storm did not disappoint. I'm sure I was aware of it before there was a light tapping on my ankle that came from our oldest who was timidly seeking permission to climb into our bed. Sometimes I forget he fears thunderstorms - mostly because he also hates to leave his room at night to seek comfort. I don't know if this is just his personality or his being on the autism spectrum, but whatever the reason he often just suffers in silence during a storm...so yes, this one was a doozy.
Next to appear was our daughter...with her cat trailing her. Wherever she goes, he goes. I told her to go to her father's side of the bed as mine was already occupied by her older brother and the cat who never leaves my side at night...so that brings us to 4 people and 2 cats in our bed. Somehow, our youngest never really gets bothered by thunderstorms, so he rode it out in his room. However, the dog who barks at everything but fears his own shadow was quaking at my side of the bed, causing it to shake ever so slightly.
Needless to say, not a lot of sleeping occurred in our house last night. So, I was ever so pleased that the kids and I did not need to get up for a bus or for anyone else's schedule. All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary bus roared down our street. All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary school began their school for the day. And one of the kids almost made it to lunch time. But we weren't cranky with each other and learning happened once we were better rested (although I did still sneak in a brief nap after all the learning was done). That is a lovely thing!!
I think I'll save my 2nd discovery for tomorrow's blog.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Mother of the Year Award
My younger two and I were in Target the other day, with the youngest catching a ride on the front of the shopping cart. As I went to turn the cart around because my way was blocked, I almost ran him into the shelving along one of the aisles. I commented to my daughter that I certainly would not win "the mother of the year" award if I did that.
"Is that a real award?", she wanted to know. I told her that it's not but did ask her what she thought the qualifications for mother of the year should be.
"Well, it's a mother who doesn't yell at her kids or do things to upset them", she replied.
Hmmm, not yell at the kids. I could go along with her on that one, but I admitted to both her and myself that it's been an area of struggle for me. God's brought me a long way since I recognized my sin and the selfishness that was showing when I have yelled at them. Of course, I had my excuses...they made me do it because they just wouldn't listen when I've been nice to them. That was my favorite excuse. Or "I've put up with a lot", I thought that was another good one.
Well, God has been softening my heart toward these children and the yelling has almost come to a complete and total stop. But I've also realized that I need to daily say to God, "please take away any anger that stems from selfishness." I also ask Him daily to give me kindness and gentleness toward my children...I don't pray for "patience", but so far kindness and gentleness have pretty much covered any infractions.
As for my daughter's second qualification for mother of the year...not doing anything to upset my children. Well, that won't be happening because I need to raise godly, responsible, kind and loving children which will mean upsetting them with things like chores, expectations and the discipline that goes along with these activities. And discipline isn't fun in the moment, and it often upsets, but it's the type of upset that is for their benefit and the benefit of those who will have to live with them in the future.
So, I guess I won't be winning mother of the year. But, I hope and I pray that I will one day hear "well done" from my Heavenly Father. Both for allowing Him to change my heart and stop the yelling and for leaning on Him when I need the strength to be the mother my children need and not necessarily the one they want.
"Is that a real award?", she wanted to know. I told her that it's not but did ask her what she thought the qualifications for mother of the year should be.
"Well, it's a mother who doesn't yell at her kids or do things to upset them", she replied.
Hmmm, not yell at the kids. I could go along with her on that one, but I admitted to both her and myself that it's been an area of struggle for me. God's brought me a long way since I recognized my sin and the selfishness that was showing when I have yelled at them. Of course, I had my excuses...they made me do it because they just wouldn't listen when I've been nice to them. That was my favorite excuse. Or "I've put up with a lot", I thought that was another good one.
Well, God has been softening my heart toward these children and the yelling has almost come to a complete and total stop. But I've also realized that I need to daily say to God, "please take away any anger that stems from selfishness." I also ask Him daily to give me kindness and gentleness toward my children...I don't pray for "patience", but so far kindness and gentleness have pretty much covered any infractions.
As for my daughter's second qualification for mother of the year...not doing anything to upset my children. Well, that won't be happening because I need to raise godly, responsible, kind and loving children which will mean upsetting them with things like chores, expectations and the discipline that goes along with these activities. And discipline isn't fun in the moment, and it often upsets, but it's the type of upset that is for their benefit and the benefit of those who will have to live with them in the future.
So, I guess I won't be winning mother of the year. But, I hope and I pray that I will one day hear "well done" from my Heavenly Father. Both for allowing Him to change my heart and stop the yelling and for leaning on Him when I need the strength to be the mother my children need and not necessarily the one they want.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A Bedtime Conversation
Last night, as our children were preparing for bed, our youngest came to give me a good night hug. He's five, but he's my baby and some days I'm just not ready for him to grow up. Being the baby some days he seems so young and little to me, but other times he surprises me so much with how much he has grown up already...of course, he does have two older sibs with whom he's trying desperately to keep up.
When I picked him up and gave him a big hug, I didn't want to put him down. I asked him if he thought I could just carry him around forever...he said "no". I asked him if he could please stay little forever....he said "No, I have to grow up." But then he added the sweetest words that were music to this mama's ears..."but I don't have to grow up right away".
I just hope he doesn't decide to grow up too fast.
Thank You Lord for helping me do a better job at treasuring these times as they flitter away.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Getting Started
Well, I've been considering starting a blog. And it turns out when I went to check out blogger, I already had one started...it just didn't have any posts. So with a few clicks, I found a color and picture combination I liked and decided to just start writing. I may regret this later because other platforms have been recommended, but this was just so easy to start. I tend to take the easy way out whenever I can (this is not always, or maybe even often, a good thing).
I'm thinking my first post should be a bit about me. I am a woman who, like so many other women, wears a lot of different hats. When I look around, everyone else seems to be balancing their hats better than I do mine. But I'm guessing that if I looked closer at their lives, the hats would not look as neatly pressed and perfectly worn as they appear at first glance.
As for my hats, I am a wife to a wonderful man who, if I'm being honest, probably gives more than he receives. Out of that union I have been given the blessing of 3 children, thus receiving my second hat of mother. I am a homemaker (although that is one hat that often falls to the bottom of the pile and gets crumpled and battered). I am a homeschool teacher. I am a church volunteer. I am a friend. I am a daughter and daughter-in-law. And there are so many other things I could mention, but I'd run out of time and you would more than run out of patience.
The main thing though, is I'm a Christ follower. And this blog is going to be mostly about what I'm learning as I seek to pursue Christlikeness as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, as a homeschool teacher, as a volunteer, as a friend and as a daughter/daughter-in-law. It will not always be pretty, because my selfishness gets in the way often. But, I am assured that He who is in me can take anything that is ugly about my nature and transform it into a thing of beauty.
I am growing. I am seeking Him daily. I am learning to cling to Him and look to Him rather than circumstances. I hope you will take the time to "Watch Me Grow"... and know that it is He who is in me, and not me that is making any changes you see that are lovely (the junky stuff, yeah, that's me - but I'm human, and I'm still alive, so He is still doing what He does best and fulfilling His promises to transform).
I'm thinking my first post should be a bit about me. I am a woman who, like so many other women, wears a lot of different hats. When I look around, everyone else seems to be balancing their hats better than I do mine. But I'm guessing that if I looked closer at their lives, the hats would not look as neatly pressed and perfectly worn as they appear at first glance.
As for my hats, I am a wife to a wonderful man who, if I'm being honest, probably gives more than he receives. Out of that union I have been given the blessing of 3 children, thus receiving my second hat of mother. I am a homemaker (although that is one hat that often falls to the bottom of the pile and gets crumpled and battered). I am a homeschool teacher. I am a church volunteer. I am a friend. I am a daughter and daughter-in-law. And there are so many other things I could mention, but I'd run out of time and you would more than run out of patience.
The main thing though, is I'm a Christ follower. And this blog is going to be mostly about what I'm learning as I seek to pursue Christlikeness as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, as a homeschool teacher, as a volunteer, as a friend and as a daughter/daughter-in-law. It will not always be pretty, because my selfishness gets in the way often. But, I am assured that He who is in me can take anything that is ugly about my nature and transform it into a thing of beauty.
I am growing. I am seeking Him daily. I am learning to cling to Him and look to Him rather than circumstances. I hope you will take the time to "Watch Me Grow"... and know that it is He who is in me, and not me that is making any changes you see that are lovely (the junky stuff, yeah, that's me - but I'm human, and I'm still alive, so He is still doing what He does best and fulfilling His promises to transform).
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