Good and Perfect Gifts

Today I wanted to share something from the journal that I keep.  My head and heart keep returning to the ideas contained within, so I felt the desire to share...  In case I don't make it back in here before Sunday, Merry Christmas to all!!


Journal entry 12-20-11
Do I offend God?  God gave salvation to the Gentile because Israel refused it - much like how I feel if my children act ungrateful for things.  I want to take these things away and give them to someone appreciative.

Do I do that to You, Lord?  Do I reject some of Your good and perfect gifts?  Do I miss Your blessing because I think I don't deserve it or because the  blessing comes disguised in what I see as something unpleasant?  I am thankful I did not refuse the gift of salvation and trusting in Christ for my eternity.  But, to have the abundant life in John 10:10, do I need to keep receiving Your gifts, and accepting them gratefully? 


Lord, have I been given gifts that never got opened?  Have I opened some and laid them aside?  Have I wanted to return some and exchange them for what I thought to be the right thing?  The thing I wanted?  Lord, I am sorry for my ungrateful, controlling heart - please forgive me and help me to choose differently.  
Lord, help me to begin to take the steps needed to live with purpose.  Help me to gratefully receive each of Your good and perfect gifts, even the ones that don't seem to fit at the time.  Stretch me to fit them.  Even the gifts that seem ugly at first - help me to see the beauty in them.  Even the ones I want to exchange - help me to see how they are perfectly designed for me.  And help me to joyfully cheer on the one who receives what I thought I wanted more.  Help me to trust in YOUR judgement and YOUR motives, Lord.  Help me to have an accurate perception of Your gifts to me, Lord.