Would you like to buy...

Today's blog is brought to you by my grumpy side.  She showed up when I awoke this morning and she stayed with me much of the day.  I hadn't seen much of her in a while, but she brought her funky self back around today.

So, today is a little rambling about a pet peeve I have...school fund raisers.

Don't get me wrong.  I did a little school fund raising in my day.  Once a year we had a magazine and cassette tape drive...yes, I do believe it was pre-CD when we were doing this little fund raiser.  For all I know, it may have included 8-track tapes.  But that was our one fund raiser for the year.  We were not expected to go door-to-door multiple times a year to support every activity offered by our school.

The schools in our district have been open for 7 days so far this school year, and already I have had 2 people ring my doorbell in an attempt to get me to support the schools.  As a tax payer, I thought that I was already doing that.  And as a homeschooling taxpayer, I gladly support other people's children's education in part (through our taxes), and our children's education in full (through my husband's take home pay).

I don't begrudge paying taxes to benefit the schools in our community because good schools and education benefit everyone in the community.  But I do grow weary of being asked time and time again to financially support the schools above and beyond our fair share of taxes.  And I grow weary of dreading opening my door because I'll again be faced with the decision to "support" or not.

Maybe the truth of it is I'm just a little jealous.  Maybe I'll come up with a great name for our school and and try to raise some funds.

But, I guess I'll just politely say "no thank you" yet again the next time a young person rings my doorbell and asks me to support their school activities through buying cookie dough, citrus, pizza coupons, entertainment books or wrapping paper.  I'll remind myself that they are not the ones who are coming up with all these ideas.

Who knows, maybe I'll even buy something so these poor kids can get home and do their homework instead of working to keep the schools afloat.

Hannah Montana

Yesterday my daughter started talking about how she wished we had Hannah Montana available for her to watch because one of her neighborhood friends watches it.  I sort of remembered that I'd seen it available on Netflix, so when she was out of the house with her father, I sat down and watched my second ever episode of Miss Montana's TV show.

We'd been through this exact same experience 3 years ago when we still had the Disney channel and I'd decided to see if it was an appropriate show for her because lots of other girls her age were watching it with older siblings.

I could see why it's entertaining and how it would be appealing to young girls.  There are teenagers to look up to and to see into their day-to-day lives at school.  And the main character is also a rock star.  Disney had a great concept for getting the attention of the tweens and younger.  And it seems so clean, so it is probably accepted in lots of homes.

But both times the thing that struck me the most, and tipped the scales against the show in our home is that the teens are all kind of mean to each other.  There are the standard sibling insults, which is something that comes across as being funny.  But funny can hurt in real life.

And there are the obligatory "popular" girls who are mean to Miley and her best friend, and then Miley and her friend dish it back.  And it's supposed to be "funny" and "entertaining".  But we females really need to learn to build strong, supportive friendships.  We need to learn to encourage each other and build each other up.  And entertaining young girls by showing them females divided and tearing each other down to gain the attention of a boy or to make themselves feel good is not okay for our girl.

I told my daughter that I had listened to her request and had watched another episode to better judge the show, but that the answer is still "no".  I explained why and that God wants us to "think on things that are good, lovely and pure" (Phil 4:8) and that saying mean things about people in order to entertain is none of these things.

I thought she'd be upset and cry.  I told her that it's hard to make decisions like this because I want to give her what she wants, but sometimes I need to tell her "no" because it's not the best thing for her.  She handled it very well and simply requested that she have a chance to watch "a girly movie" sometime soon.  I told her I thought we should send the boys out to do some guy stuff and we could have a girly afternoon really soon.

I can't wait.

A Way Out

Today was not a day of good attitudes if you are a female and part of our family...well, the female cat may have been in a good mood.  But if she'd been made to interact with anyone else, she would have been cranky along with the other two of us.


The day started out pretty good, but Mondays are a very busy day, so it can quickly fall apart into times of irritation.  And I took 2 children to the grocery store...during school hours...which can lead to questioning and unpleasant looks from others in the store.  So perhaps I was primed for a grumpy moment.


The moment came when I went to resume our school for the day, and the darling middle child said "I don't like school.  It's no fun."  I was in no mood for this.  I wanted to yell.  I even wanted to curse, and I don't curse.  I don't even know why this set me off.  Sometimes I take these comments personally - maybe because I pour so much into my efforts at schooling our children, and it hurts when it isn't appreciated.  And this was even the fun part of the day that brought on the complaining.  But I know they need it, so I press on.  However, today was almost a breaking point.


Thankfully, God was faithful, just as His word says He will be.  In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we are told "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."


The way out today was to calmly tell my children I needed a moment to pray and as I prayed, He brought a song we recently learned to my mind.  "I will persevere.  I will never, never quit.  I will follow God and I will stick to it.  I will not give up, not one single little bit.  I will persevere."  


And then I was able to ask my boys to leave the room so my daughter and I could talk calmly.  I was able to remind her that while she may not always enjoy it, getting an education is important.  I was able to explain to her that words can hurt adults' feelings, too, and that we need to be more careful with our words.  And I was able to give her a hug and let her know that I love her, but I will still make her do her school work.


Thank You, God, for Your promise to provide a way out of the temptations.  Please, help me to remember to look for it every time I am tempted to give in to sin.

Six Years Ago Today

Six years ago today, I woke up and turned on The Weather Channel.  I'd gone to bed feeling fairly certain I was going to stay put, although I was considering running away.  What I saw when I turned on TWC made me certain that staying put was not my best option.

What could make me so certain of the need to run for my life?  I saw Jim Cantorre standing on the beach in front of a pirate ship shaped casino in Gulfport, MS...about 5 miles from where I sat watching TV.

We had just moved to Biloxi, MS 2 months prior and had already survived 2 tropical storms and evacuated for a hurricane that ended up going to visit Florida instead.  But send Jim Cantorre somewhere and the storms will follow.

We had planned to run as a family and had been boarding up the house.  Then we got the call that I did not want to get - my DH was informed that his services would be needed on base in a shelter and he would not be allowed to evacuate.  The kids and I were welcome to remain in the shelter and we thought we just might do that but the shelters would be offices where people work - and I would be responsible for keeping a 3 1/2 and a 1 1/2 year old out of other people's stuff for who knows how long.  And I was a few weeks pregnant and feeling kind of crummy.  And we had 2 cats who would have no place to go. And Jim Cantorre was in my neighborhood so the storm would come.

So, the kids and I packed up faster than we've ever packed in our lives and in an hour or so from when the decision was made, we set out in an effort to out run the storm.  God was very much with us because from what I've heard, had we left only about 15 minutes later, we would have been caught in severe traffic and had terrible delays.

What started out to be a brief evacuation, ended up turning into a departure from Biloxi for the next 4 1/2  months, only to prepare to move away because of storm damage to the base hospital.  It also started out a period of time that did not change me for the better (at least in the interim) and that took me a long time to process and move forward from.

We were among the very lucky who did not lose our lives or our home, and yet I struggled greatly with what we had experienced.   Today, I don't know if I can honestly say I'm thankful for that time because I really loved what Biloxi was like pre-storm and I haven't really gotten to see it post-storm.  I enjoyed the friendships we were beginning to form and the church where we were settling in.

But I also know that I have grown through the trials and that I have learned (after much battling with myself over the feelings I had) that God is truly with me in the tough things.  I've learned more about struggles and standing strong in my faith because of this experience and things that were to come in the year that followed.  And so, for what I have learned, I am thankful.

But, if I'm really honest, I will say that some days, it's still hard to think back on that time.

I'm a Project Girl Who is Learning to Maintain

I am a project girl, not a maintenance one.  This can get me into big trouble.  If I start a project, sometimes I just don't want to stop.  And once I finish a project, I want it to be done.

But life isn't a project, and that's where my problems lie.  A friend shares a problem, I want to fix it and be done with it.  I see a flaw in myself, again, fix it and move on.  My kids don't understand a new concept, I'll explain it once, but don't really want to have to keep repeating it.

And yet most problems are not a quick fix and flaws and bad habits are an ongoing fix that requires maintenance.  I just don't do maintenance well.

Recently, I've come to realize a little bit more about the idea of taking up my cross daily and following Christ.  It involves my daily confessing sins, even ones I haven't blatantly displayed in recent days.  It involves my thanking Him that He brought me through the day before without displaying that attitude or behavior and asking Him once again to remove that sin from me for the day ahead.  It means really praying about change and filling my mind with His scripture daily.  It means realizing that turning from sin is not a project that is done once and completed.  It is about maintenance.

And I'm beginning to get that, one day at a time.

The More Important Reason

Yesterday I mentioned that I'd discovered/been reminded of 2 things that are great about homeschooling, with our own schedule being one.  But, the more important reason, and the one that does truly carry weight in our decision, is that I have the opportunity to engage in meaningful discussions with our children as they are learning new things.

We have been doing a study of world geography and cultures from the Confessions of a Homeschooler blog called Expedition Earth.  We've been studying China.  It's a wonderful study and it includes a book about the prayer needs of each country, so my children are becoming sensitive to their needs and the differences in our beliefs and the beliefs of others.

Yesterday, I added on watching Everest on Netflix since we had read about Mt. Everest in our information on China.  As part of the movie, the spiritual beliefs of one of the men climbing Everest was discussed and my daughter had several questions.  In addition, during the course of the climb, there was a terrible storm and several people lost their lives.  My daughter wanted to talk about how she hoped the men who had died knew Jesus before they died.

These are the moments I would miss if they were not at home learning at my side.

Lord, help me remember that the next time I sit here wishing that lovely, yellow bus would stop instead of driving past each morning.

A Lovely Thing

There are lots of reasons we have chosen to homeschool, and some days I need reminders of those initial reasons and reasons we've found along the way.  Today I stumbled upon 2 reasons that make homeschooling wonderful (although only one of them would really sway my decision if I were making it over again).

Last night as I went to bed, I saw we were under a "Severe Thunderstorm Watch" until 5AM...well, this storm did not disappoint.  I'm sure I was aware of it before there was a light tapping on my ankle that came from our oldest who was timidly seeking permission to climb into our bed.  Sometimes I forget he fears thunderstorms - mostly because he also hates to leave his room at night to seek comfort.  I don't know if this is just his personality or his being on the autism spectrum, but whatever the reason he often just suffers in silence during a storm...so yes, this one was a doozy.

Next to appear was our daughter...with her cat trailing her.  Wherever she goes, he goes.  I told her to go to her father's side of the bed as mine was already occupied by her older brother and the cat who never leaves my side at night...so that brings us to 4 people and 2 cats in our bed.  Somehow, our youngest never really gets bothered by thunderstorms, so he rode it out in his room.  However, the dog who barks at everything but fears his own shadow was quaking at my side of the bed, causing it to shake ever so slightly.

Needless to say, not a lot of sleeping occurred in our house last night.  So, I was ever so pleased that the kids and I did not need to get up for a bus or for anyone else's schedule.  All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary bus roared down our street.  All 4 of us slept past the time that the elementary school began their school for the day.  And one of the kids almost made it to lunch time.  But we weren't cranky with each other and learning happened once we were better rested (although I did still sneak in a brief nap after all the learning was done).  That is a lovely thing!!

I think I'll save my 2nd discovery for tomorrow's blog.

Mother of the Year Award

My younger two and I were in Target the other day, with the youngest catching a ride on the front of the shopping cart.  As I went to turn the cart around because my way was blocked, I almost ran him into the shelving along one of the aisles.  I commented to my daughter that I certainly would not win "the mother of the year" award if I did that.

"Is that a real award?", she wanted to know.  I told her that it's not but did ask her what she thought the qualifications for mother of the year should be.

"Well, it's a mother who doesn't yell at her kids or do things to upset them", she replied.

Hmmm, not yell at the kids.  I could go along with her on that one, but I admitted to both her and myself that it's been an area of struggle for me.  God's brought me a long way since I recognized my sin and the selfishness that was showing when I have yelled at them.  Of course, I had my excuses...they made me do it because they just wouldn't listen when I've been nice to them.  That was my favorite excuse.  Or "I've put up with a lot", I thought that was another good one.

Well, God has been softening my heart toward these children and the yelling has almost come to a complete and total stop.  But I've also realized that I need to daily say to God, "please take away any anger that stems from selfishness."  I also ask Him daily to give me kindness and gentleness toward my children...I don't pray for "patience", but so far kindness and gentleness have pretty much covered any infractions.

As for my daughter's second qualification for mother of the year...not doing anything to upset my children.  Well, that won't be happening because I need to raise godly, responsible,  kind and loving children which will mean upsetting them with things like chores, expectations and the discipline that goes along with these activities.  And discipline isn't fun in the moment, and it often upsets, but it's the type of upset that is for their benefit and the benefit of those who will have to live with them in the future.

So, I guess I won't be winning mother of the year.  But, I hope and I pray that I will one day hear "well done" from my Heavenly Father.  Both for allowing Him to change my heart and stop the yelling and for leaning on Him when I need the strength to be the mother my children need and not necessarily the one they want.

A Bedtime Conversation

Last night, as our children were preparing for bed, our youngest came to give me a good night hug.  He's five, but he's my baby and some days I'm just not ready for him to grow up.  Being the baby some days he seems so young and little to me, but other times he surprises me so much with how much he has grown up already...of course, he does have two older sibs with whom he's trying desperately to keep up.

When I picked him up and gave him a big hug, I didn't want to put him down.  I asked him if he thought I could just carry him around forever...he said "no".  I asked him if he could please stay little forever....he said "No, I have to grow up."  But then he added the sweetest words that were music to this mama's ears..."but I don't have to grow up right away".

I just hope he doesn't decide to grow up too fast.  

Thank You Lord for helping me do a better job at treasuring these times as they flitter away.

Getting Started

Well, I've been considering starting a blog.  And it turns out when I went to check out blogger, I already had one started...it just didn't have any posts.  So with a few clicks, I found a color and picture combination I liked and decided to just start writing.  I may regret this later because other platforms have been recommended, but this was just so easy to start.  I tend to take the easy way out whenever I can (this is not always, or maybe even often, a good thing).

I'm thinking my first post should be a bit about me.  I am a woman who, like so many other women, wears a lot of different hats.  When I look around, everyone else seems to be balancing their hats better than I do mine.  But I'm guessing that if I looked closer at their lives, the hats would not look as neatly pressed and perfectly worn as they appear at first glance.

As for my hats, I am a wife to a wonderful man who, if I'm being honest, probably gives more than he receives.  Out of that union I have been given the blessing of 3 children, thus receiving my second hat of mother.  I am a homemaker (although that is one hat that often falls to the bottom of the pile and gets crumpled and battered).  I am a homeschool teacher.  I am a church volunteer.  I am a friend.  I am a daughter and daughter-in-law.  And there are so many other things I could mention, but I'd run out of time and you would more than run out of patience.

The main thing though, is I'm a Christ follower.  And this blog is going to be mostly about what I'm learning as I seek to pursue Christlikeness as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, as a homeschool teacher, as a volunteer, as a friend and as a daughter/daughter-in-law.  It will not always be pretty, because my selfishness gets in the way often.  But, I am assured that He who is in me can take anything that is ugly about my nature and transform it into a thing of beauty.

I am growing.  I am seeking Him daily.  I am learning to cling to Him and look to Him rather than circumstances.  I hope you will take the time to "Watch Me Grow"... and know that it is He who is in me, and not me that is making any changes you see that are lovely  (the junky stuff, yeah, that's me - but I'm human, and I'm still alive, so He is still doing what He does best and fulfilling His promises to transform).