Final Reflections (I think)

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that this year's trip to Trinidad was very different for me than when we went 2 years ago.  Part of that was due to my responsibility shift.  Last time I was a counselor, in a cabin with a Trini counselor, 5 Trini campers and Joy.  I had many opportunities to spend time with these young ladies and begin to get to know them.  To my delight, all but one of the girls returned to camp this year so I was able to see them again and catch up a little...but they have a new counselor who was also with them last year.  So, they had been turned over to good hands.

This year I was in the kitchen in the morning (which I LOVED) and a co-leader of "Imagination Station" (a combination of science and crafts) in the afternoon.  That was probably my biggest stretch of the week, because I struggle with presenting a lesson to a larger group...I like the more intimate nature of a smaller group.

As a result, I was feeling a little sorry for myself one morning during my quiet time.  I felt disconnected from the children, yet I was loving the bonding that was occurring with team members during my kitchen time and side conversations.  That morning I brought my concerns to the Lord, asking Him for a connection with the children, and He was faithful to deliver.  Only an hour later, as we prepared for breakfast, some girls began showing up and chatting with us as they waited for their meals to be ready. And then, a few of the boys from Roger's cabin began giving me a hug whenever they passed by.

Another big difference this year was my attitude.  Last time we went (in 2010), I wanted to be there, but I was also fearful.  It was new, it was hot, and I was not in control.  It was odd having no say in the schedule, and the hours were hard on our children; therefore, they were hard on me.  I was not the best team member I could be.

Last year we prayed and prayed about going, but God never confirmed to us that we were to be part of that team.  It turned out there was a different need for us at the very same time as the trip, but that was not the only reason.  God showed me that I had not been the blessing I could have been on the previous trip - I had been blessed by it, and I had grown from it.  I had connected with some of the girls and been and encouragement to them, but I had not been a blessing to my team - I had not dealt well with what was asked and required of me.  So, I told God that I wanted to go back, but not until He had worked in my heart and I could go and be a blessing.

This year (just like in 2010), He confirmed to us that we were to be part of the team on the day of the deadline for the trip - LOL!  This time, He made it clear to me that He had been working in my heart, and I was becoming a different person.

Don't get me wrong - I wasn't perfect, and every good thing that poured out from me was because of Him.  One thing that was different was I got up every morning and spent time with Him before I spent time with others.  What a blessing that was to me.  I also found that I had time to really talk with the other team members.  Sometimes it was over a bowl of garlic that we were peeling, or green onions that needed prepping.  Other times it was because God brought two of us together in the same location, quite unexpectedly to each of us.  I found out that several of the team members were really struck by the "Trust God!" theme, just as I was.  I think many of us learned some "trust" lessons in Trinidad.  I also got the blessing of spending more time with the Singh family and getting to know them more...what a wonderful family they are!

Unfortunately, I did fall prey to fatigue and selfishness as the trip came near the end and had some apologizing to do.  But I was so thankful to the Lord because He showed me the need for an apology and made a way for me to go to those I had offended and make that apology.  He truly is the God of reconciliation!

Morning exercises - almost time for breakfast!

Preparing for mealtime!  This is just a small section of the room where we eat...there were a LOT of kids this year!!!  These are a few of Roger's campers who took me in throughout the week.

Getting breakfast - the most important meal of the day!  This was also the day that God brought me some girls to visit with - what beautiful smiles they had and what fun it was to chat with them :)

Roger and the boys as we waited for the maxi to take us to the airport.  Last morning at Ridgewalk Camp for 2012.

2012 Trinidad mission team in the airport
(photo courtesy of Amber Rohrer)

I am hoping that I can get Roger on here in the next few days to share some of his experiences from the trip...but I'm still trying to get him on Facebook, too.  He does not have the same "need" to share information through the internet ;)