Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday - if you want to know my age, just ask my children because they will be more than happy to share that little piece of intel.  In their defense, we do joke around a lot and give each other a hard time about lots of things, so they probably don't take me very seriously when I act offended by their over ambitious honesty.

They did treat me to a lovely day...here are a few of the highlights.

My 7 year old made me microwave popcorn for breakfast.  She also said "Yes, ma'am - right away" when I asked her to do something.

My 5 year old told me "Go downstairs so I can give you your present," as soon as he saw me this morning.  And he sang "Happy Birthday" to me with a mouth full of food, and then he wanted to know why I was laughing at him.

My 9 year old took it pretty well when I told him that on MY birthday I do not want to listen to HIM list off the things he wants for his birthday.  He can wait until tomorrow to begin preparing that list.  Although he took that redirection pretty well, he did later ask me when "Obey Mom Day" was going to be over...he's always good for a laugh.

So, all in all, this was a good birthday - one created by my children since their daddy had to be at work all day.  At least he did the shopping all by himself (with the help of a wish list on Amazon), because there have been some crazy birthday presents in past years when the children "helped" with the shopping.

Houdini the Beagle

Oh what a day!  Actually, it's been quite a week.  I'd refer to it as fragmented rather than busy, although we have been on the go a bit more than usual as well.  Generally I struggle with a fragmented type of week.  By fragmented, I mean that we have several places to go or things to accomplish, but they are not back-to-back.  And I do not deal well with the chunks of time in between so not much gets accomplished on the homeschool front.

But Thursdays are a day where we have just one big thing to do, our homeschool co-op.  It's a great opportunity for our children to do school activities with other children who are home educated.  They get a chance to do the type of classroom activities that are harder to replicate at home, such as group presentations and science experiments.  And we were looking forward to it all week.

We were almost ready to head out the door when we received a telephone call.  "Are you Speedy's owner?" the lady on the other end of the phone said.  "Yes?" I replied.  "He is in front of my house" - which was about 2 blocks away.  So, the kids and I head off - the oldest on his bike, the youngest on his scooter, my middle child and I on foot and I had the leash in hand.

Once we retrieved him from our nice neighbor who wanted to tell us all about the adventures Speedy had in her home while awaiting our arrival, we returned home, escorted him to his crate and headed on our way.  We arrived late and this threw off our day, but at least we'd had our adventure for the day.

Or so I thought...guess who escaped 2 more times.  Guess how many times we received the "Are you Speedy's owner?" phone call today.  I think he may have met more neighbors today than we have met over the course of our 5 years in the neighborhood.

I never cease to be amazed at how right I was when I said that getting a second dog would grow my patience.  Of course, when I said that, I never dreamed that second dog would be a beagle.  Or that this Beagle should have been named Houdini or perhaps Patrick Henry.  That was not my plan, but it seems he may be exactly what I needed.

Can I Get a Straight Jacket?

Homeschooling can be such a wonderful thing.  There are the times when my 5 year old tells me all about the Susan Constant, the Godspeed and the Discovery (the 3 ships the settlers took from England to Jamestown Colony).  There are the wonderful times my 7 year old can make amazing comments about our need to pray for people we read about and the tender moments we can share reading together.  And there are the times when I get to see my 9 year old light up as he is able to complete math skills that had him stumped only days before.

But then there is the other side - the days from hell!!!  The days where I either want to call for a yellow bus to pick up my children or a straight jacket for myself.  Very few people talk about these days because the right to homeschool was a hard fought battle.  Either that, or no one else ever has these types of days...but I'm pretty sure it's just a well kept secret.

Today was turning into one of those days - I was a bit grumpy to start off the day and then kids whining about doing math and crying if they did not know an answer did nothing to improve my disposition.  But even knowing I can be honest about it and "put it out there" that our homeschool is not perfectly run and is not filled with perfect children is a help to me.

It also helps me when I contemplate the fact that we would have these days even if I did put them on the bus and take a break from them each day.  I would still be responsible for overseeing homework.  I would still have battles over simply getting them up and onto that bus.  There are no perfect days because we are imperfect people.

And, of course, prayer is paramount - I could not survive a day like this without it.

I read recently on someone's Facebook status "even if the grass is greener on the other side, you still have to mow it."  This reminds me there are challenges to every lifestyle choice we make, even when we are tempted by something that looks better in the moment.  We have chosen to homeschool because we feel led to do so.  While I know it is the best for our family, that does not mean it will be easy.  I have to continually remind myself of that because I do get tempted to throw in the towel far too easily and quickly.  God is using this homeschool thing as yet another means to help me grow.

Was That a Shark in Our House?

My daughter tends to be forgetful and easily distracted.  She is also not known for tidiness...all of these are traits she has acquired from me.  Because I see the worst of myself in her when these qualities shine forth, I am often telling her, and reminding her, and re-reminding her about things that need to be put away and about things she is about to leave behind.  I often threaten to put things in time out or to give away the toys she cannot seem to put away.  And, as a mom, I feel justified in doing so.

Today she lost the arm of a Barbie to a Beagle with a love for plastic doll arms.  This is not the first doll that has ended up in this condition.  My daughter was devastated at first, and to be honest, there was a time when I would have somewhat rejoiced in this happening to "teach her a lesson."  But, here is where God is working in my heart.  This natural consequence (that I had warned her would happen if she left her doll out), broke my heart right along with hers.  So instead of scolding her about how the doll ended up in the grasp of the rabid, Barbie-eating Beagle, I spoke with her about people who have lost their arms due to accidents or who were born with less than perfect arms.  I told her about how they are still beautiful.  We even decided that she could find a decorative band-aid and put it on the Barbie's arm to cover the teeth marks and make her injury more fashionable.  Then my daughter decided on Barbie's new back story - shark attack!

I cannot even begin to list out all the things I learned from this little moment in our day.  But I can share that I was thanking God for His work in me that allowed me to give my daughter a better memory of this day than I would have given her not too long ago.

I'm BA-ACK

It may appear to some that I have either a) fallen off the planet, or b) fallen off the blogging wagon.  Well, the (possibly) good news is, I have done neither.  Rather, I took a pre-planned break for a family vacation/extended field trip that was preceded by a two day "I'm over scheduled and a bit overwhelmed by life" break.  But I forgot to tell anyone who may have been following this blog that I was going to be taking a break (that would be 3 people to whom I owe a big apology - LOL).

We're back, so now I'm back.  I do have a very busy week ahead of me, but I hope to resume regular blogging, and I have rejoined the daily blogging challenge for this week.

A Special Time

I just had to say "no" to something.  It is so hard to say "no" to good things...especially when everyone just assumes you will say "yes."  To many observers who don't take the time to find out why I said "no", it will not make sense.  And saying "yes" would have been the easier path to take.

My daughter is joining American Heritage Girls this year.  When I turned in her paperwork, I let the leadership know that I want to attend with my daughter because this is going to be our special time.  The person I was speaking with threw up her hands in rejoicing...because my daughter's group has no leader yet.  I quickly said "no" about being the leader, which was accepted without argument.  But then the other person started talking about my being a "helper."  I was told I would be trained and it would be fine even though I had never before set foot in an AHG meeting.

I left that night being unsure of what to do.  On one hand, if I didn't help out, who would?  And would my daughter even have a group to attend?  But I had made her a promise...this time I would be all hers.  This would be our time and she would be my main focus.

She does not get this type of opportunity often, and she is growing up.  She's reaching an age where I need to focus more on training her and discipling her.  We need to build memories together that do not always include her brothers or involve my telling her to wait until I have finished helping another child in one of her other activities.

At this point, I volunteer in her AWANA program and in some of her Sunday morning kids' worship times.  I am also preparing to be an assistant teacher in her co-op class.  But I am not just there for her.  In fact, she has a brother in each of these times with her so even if I were only there for my children, she would still be sharing me.  But I'm not just there for my children.  I am there to serve and lead and assist with a group, and our children know that.

Even at home I am rarely able to give her undivided attention.  She  has an older brother on the autism spectrum, which means outside therapy appointments.  It also means that he needs some extra one-on-one instruction with his academics.  And she has a younger brother, who is simply the baby of the family.  As the baby is known to do, he just finds ways to get attention for himself.  So she is the only girl and the middle child, and she sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.

So, for now I have said "no."  I just hope my "no" can remain a "no" throughout this upcoming year.

My Secret Life

I've been keeping a secret from my husband.  It's not a terrible secret, but it is a secret about how I've been spending some of my time.  What is this secret life I've been leading?

This blog.

Why have I kept it a secret?  Because I so often start off on new ventures, throwing myself into them with great abandon...only to later abandon these great new ventures in favor of the next thing that turns my head.

My dear husband has seen me through two direct sales ventures, a variety of new curriculum that will be "perfect" for our homeschool, and more systems than either of us can probably ever list.  He has seen me through weight loss (and re-gain), exercise programs that fell by the wayside when I fell off the wagon, and hobbies that filled up rooms only to be cast aside.

And he has never complained.   I'm not sure why, but in general, he has been more than gracious about each of these new undertakings.  But this time, I wanted to be sure before I pulled him into yet another hobby in which I wanted to dabble.

We are very different, he and I .  When he says he has "been thinking" about a new hobby or some other activity, he means he has actually weighed the pros and cons and has decided that he wants to go ahead with it.  He also means he will actually stick with it.

When I say I have "been thinking" about a new hobby, I mean the thought just popped into my head, and I'm going to jump in with both feet and give it a try.  And I will probably quickly lose interest and move on to something else.

So, today I sent him an email with the link to this blog because I'm past that initial "thinking about it" stage.  I hope this doesn't mean that it will be yet another venture that gets cast aside, because I'm really enjoying this opportunity to write.

Welcome to my blog, Dear Husband.  I hope you enjoy what you read.

Humor in Failure

Tonight I'm not feeling particularly chatty.  In fact, the only reason I'm posting at all is that I made a commitment to do so, and I'm working on keeping the commitments I make.

So, rather than ramble on, I am going to simply share a quote from one of the books I'm presently reading.  I read based on my mood, so I do often have multiple books going at once.  This is especially true for non-fiction books.

This quote if from Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst.  "There is humor to be found in almost every failure, if only we'll look for it."

So, tomorrow if I fail, I hope to find humor in whatever that failure may be.  And I'd love to hear your best (and funniest) failure stories.  I know I'll be sharing mine as I go along...it seems like yesterday's story of my attempt at catching our dog falls firmly into that very category.

Wet, Racing Dogs Can Build Patience

This afternoon I had an experience I wasn't expecting.

It had been raining out (which I didn't realize) and our dogs were out in it - getting soaked.  When we brought them in, it was obvious our younger (also described as "wilder") dog would need to spend the afternoon in his crate or he would get everything wet.  But he had other ideas.

He started by wrestling with his "big brother".  He did stop long enough to cooperate and head upstairs per my request.  But he blasted into our room where my husband had been resting.  He then shot quickly back out of the room and down the stairs.  After a quick tour of the main floor he returned upstairs and actually ran into his crate.

Good - I had him just where I wanted him...until he shot back out of that crate and blasted onto the bed, landing on the sleeping (and fairly grumpy) cat.  So, sleeping cat and resting husband were no longer doing either - in fact, sleeping cat had become a whirling ball of fur and claws.  As a result, the crazy dog shot back off the bed after the cat, but by then I had gotten wise enough to close the bedroom door so both were trapped.  They then began running circles around me.  When he finally came to a stop and simply resorted to obnoxious barking I was able to catch him and escort him to his crate.

When we first got this dog I honestly told my husband that I thought getting another pet would be good for me because felt I needed the growth in patience it would provide.  Yes, I said that.  I wish I could say that was a mistake on my part.  But it wasn't.

So often we are told not to pray for patience.  And yet, patience is listed in Galatians 5:22-23 among the evidences we are to find in our lives - the "Fruit of the Spirit".  God wants us to display patience just as much as He wants us to display love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and (the other dreaded one) self control.  These are all areas in which we need to grow.

Today's lesson in patience brought me to fits of laughter.  A few months ago it may have easily brought me to fits of anger.  I guess sometimes growing in patience can be comical.  By the way, before we even really knew much about this dog, we named him "Speedy".  Some days I wish we'd picked "Sleepy", "Lazy" or "Pokey" instead.

Showers of Blessings

About a month or two ago, something dawned on me.  I'm selfish.  I guess since I'm also human this really should not have been a big surprise.  But it was.

I had felt pretty justified in my interactions with others and felt like if there was a difference of opinion, I was generally right and they just needed to see things my way.  And I'd do all that was within my power to try to show them the light - I'm "helpful" like that.

But then it hit me one day.  I was not being a blessing to the people around me.  I'm not really sure why that had not been especially important to me before.  Or why, once I realized this flaw, it became far more important to me to be a blessing, but that is kind of how God has seemed to work in my life time and time again.

While I often envy the people with the amazing testimony of total transformation, I am coming to realize that I couldn't handle it.  I need things in smaller doses.  Smaller transformations at a time, so that they will be lasting transformations.

So, my daily prayer for these past couple of months has been for God to show me how I can be a blessing to someone around me that day.  I have often been an "all or nothing" type of person, so this has been a project in discipline.  To daily come before my Heavenly Father and actually present myself as a sacrifice to Him and ask that He give me a task to do for someone else, has been very humbling for me.

And yet, as with everything God shows me to do, while I have started out making an effort to be a blessing to others, I often find that I am the one who ends up being the most blessed for the experience.

A Visit to the Doctor

I had an interesting visit to the doctor's office today.

First, as I was discussing the medications that I have been taking in recent months, I informed the tech that the extended release form was not working as well as the short acting form had worked.  She then shared that she is on extended release for ADD and has experienced the same thing with her medications.  She said that it seems to wear off around 2 or 3 in the afternoon.  She then began talking about her children who like to try to sleep in on the weekdays, but who wake up at the "butt crack" of dawn on the weekends.  While it was only 10AM when she said this, I'd venture to say that her meds had already worn off as her impulse control was not working.

Then, while waiting for my meds to be refilled I noticed that a "lady" in the waiting area was wearing a lovely sundress.  However, it covered almost none of her bra, which she seemed to be wearing as an accessory and not as the secret that Victoria recommends.

As I sat there pondering all these things and shocked at the behaviors of those around me, I had someone sit down beside me who struck up a conversation.   I realized fairly quickly I had actually met her before, but she did not seem to remember me.  I decided to keep my identity quiet as it might negatively impact our conversation.  You see, when I met her before, it was because she approached my husband and I when she was his patient.

Today, she was sharing with me that she is a cancer patient and that she has sought second opinions because her options have become so limited.  She is presently receiving radiation in hopes of being a candidate for surgery.  She shared that her child is getting ready to turn 4 next week and the day after she will be meeting with the surgeon to find out if he is willing to operate.  If so, she will lose her leg and her bladder.  If not, she will lose her life.  If she had realized I am the wife of the doctor whose opinion she did not trust, she may have simply walked away and not shared what is happening in her life.

I cannot imagine what she is facing yet she cried no tears, just shared.  I don't know what her secret is, because I cry over the dumbest things.  She shared about a recent trip to Disney that others had given their family through fund raising and how they had been so blessed through it all.  She showed me a picture of her children, 3 and 8 years old.  And she did it all with an upbeat attitude.

Every day recently I have prayed and asked that God will show me someone who I can bless at some point in the day.  I don't know if He answered that prayer today because I never felt as if I went out of my way to be a blessing to anyone.  But, He did bless me today.  I cannot imagine being in the position of praying that you can lose your leg just so you can spend more time with the people you love.  But I interacted with someone today is who is praying that very thing right now and preparing herself for the "no" answer she may receive next week.

For anyone who reads this, I don't know her name, and I'll probably never have an update because my DH cannot share such information with me out of respect for confidentiality, but I do hope you will lift her up in your prayers.

No Glitter

When I started this blog about 10 days ago, I was not sure what I was getting myself into.  I'd been considering it, but thought I'd probably end up doing a blog with lots of pictures of my children and their activities.  I thought it might be a good way to chronicle their school year and to keep family in other parts of the country abreast of what was happening.

But something happened on the way to that first blog post.  Instead of pics of my kids and sharing of our daily happenings, I felt a need to share more of myself.  This has turned into a wonderful creative outlet for me.  I've always had a desire to be a writer, but felt I lacked some key elements necessary for writing anything of great length.  First, I have no creative ideas so works of fiction are beyond me.  Any time I thought that I may have an original idea, I later came to realize I'd either already read a book just like it or seen the movie.  And as for the possibility of writing a work of non-fiction, I don't have the stick-with-it-ness needed to do the research and follow it all through to completion.

But I'm discovering that my mind is perfectly suited to the blog.  I seem to even think in blog posts several times a day now as if I am creating something even when I'm not at the computer...it will probably start to drive me crazy at some point, but for now, it's kind of fun.  The other great thing about blogging is there is absolutely no clean up like every other creative venture I've embarked upon...and I do not need an entire room devoted to it like the one I have filled with cardstock, ink pads, rubber stamps, punches, ribbons...well, you get the picture.  And no glitter to vacuum.

I think I could get used to this...