About a month or two ago, something dawned on me. I'm selfish. I guess since I'm also human this really should not have been a big surprise. But it was.
I had felt pretty justified in my interactions with others and felt like if there was a difference of opinion, I was generally right and they just needed to see things my way. And I'd do all that was within my power to try to show them the light - I'm "helpful" like that.
But then it hit me one day. I was not being a blessing to the people around me. I'm not really sure why that had not been especially important to me before. Or why, once I realized this flaw, it became far more important to me to be a blessing, but that is kind of how God has seemed to work in my life time and time again.
While I often envy the people with the amazing testimony of total transformation, I am coming to realize that I couldn't handle it. I need things in smaller doses. Smaller transformations at a time, so that they will be lasting transformations.
So, my daily prayer for these past couple of months has been for God to show me how I can be a blessing to someone around me that day. I have often been an "all or nothing" type of person, so this has been a project in discipline. To daily come before my Heavenly Father and actually present myself as a sacrifice to Him and ask that He give me a task to do for someone else, has been very humbling for me.
And yet, as with everything God shows me to do, while I have started out making an effort to be a blessing to others, I often find that I am the one who ends up being the most blessed for the experience.
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